"Whatever You Are...Be a Good One"

I've always liked this quote, but I have especially loved it lately. It's been coming to my mind so much and it's been exactly what I've needed to hear every time.

Over the past years I feel like in a lot of ways I feel like I've become a lesser version of myself than what I used to be. I know I've grown a lot and in a lot of ways that isn't actually true. But...
FACT: in some ways it is true.

Sometimes feelings of inadequacy creep in and I stop trying as hard to be better. And lately I've been feeling SOOO in adequate.

This past Summer was really great, but it was also really hard. I didn't realize how how big of a funk I was in until I was out of it. It was a great reminder that trials are for our good. I've known that for a long time, but it got really hard to remember there for a while. Sometimes you do have to break a little before you can be made better. This time I was able to learn that I am brave. I know that seems like such a small thing, but it has changed everything. It has given me the courage again to want to go out and try new things, even hard things. It's given me the strength to try harder to be better at everything I do. And, you know, the desire to actually leave my house.
In other words, it's given me the ability to strive to be my best self again.

And I've started to realize something. I started becoming a lesser version of myself because I stopped working at improving.
 Go figure, right?
Over the past years I haven't always been doing exactly what I want to do. I haven't gotten a dream job, I haven't become a mom, yadda yadda. You know. And so I think somewhere along the lines I stopped trying to do better at the things I was actually doing.
And then something changed. A flip was switched. Despite not knowing what path to take as far as a job was concerned I started working really hard to be the best house wife ever while we tried to figure everything out. And you know what? It was great. I loved it. I had a routine and things were going smoothly. I was making yummy dinners again, the house clean a good majority of the time, which left lots of time to spend with Jayson.

And the feelings of inadequacy and doubt started creeping in again. It seems like they always come. And then I remembered that I am brave and I can do hard things. While I've been feeling these things the quote that inspired this post keeps coming to mind, "What ever you are, be a good one." And you know what? I think it's working. I don't know why I have found this so astonishing. Obviously I don't do everything perfect. I still feel really inadequate fairly often. I still get frustrated at times and it is really hard. But, instead of cowering when things are hard I've started to really revel in it. I had forgotten the satisfaction that can come when you accomplish something hard. I've also seen that when I'm doing my best things fall into place and they work out. I mean, things don't just not fall apart, but they turn out really well over all. I am finding that I can be patient. I am finding that I love what I'm doing in life. Despite making mistakes, getting frustrated, and being/feeling in adequate I genuinely feel like I'm doing/did do a good job at the things I'm striving to do my best at.