Oh, January

I think it's probably safe to say that January is the most hated month. Am I right? This used to make me kind of sad, since it's my birth month and all. In the past I have often tried to defend it by pointing out it's good qualities, like a fresh start and a nice relaxing break from big events after the busy holiday season.

Speaking of which, I've always thought it was kind of odd that we start out the year in such a dreary, cold, and cruel month. It's like taking everyone's New Year's hope and crushing it to death, you know what I mean? And, is January actually slow for anyone? I always look forward to a little bit of relaxing during it, but I feel like it's always just as busy as any other month, so that's kind of a let down. I mean, the business of my life is directly correlated to the frequency in which I shave my legs, and let me tell you, up until a few days ago my legs were harrier than they've been in a really long time.

So, now that I've gone through 26 Januarys, I'll admit it, January can be a beast some years. Like 2008. Do you guys remember January 2008? I know some of you do. It was the worst. And January 2013. I can't lie, I've been doing some January bashing this year too, because oh my goodness it's FREEZING! And is there anything worse than leaving the house in January? Every morning I have an even harder time forcing myself out of bed than usual because I know that eventually I'll have to go outside. You know what is even worse than that? Going places after work in January.

But then today happened and we got oodles of powdery snow and it made my heart so very content. I took Ruby in the backyard and we ran around in it and such. Let me just tell you, there's nothing cuter than a dog running joyfully through the snow. It's just that simple. Especially when the snow is up to said dog's belly and she has to leap every time she takes a step. And, doesn't powdery snow just make you want to jump, run, and lay in it?! Ok, maybe it's just me. But, have you ever just sad there and laid in the snow? It's one of the most peaceful things in the world. I've been so cold over the past few weeks that I forgot about my love for snow and how beautiful it is. So, even if it is one of the last days of the month, thanks for redeeming yourself a little bit, January.

And all of this reminds me that great opportunities can come from great trials. For example, while January ha been really mean this year it definitely provides the opportunity for many good occasions for soup, snuggles, movie nights, warm cookies, etc. This year it's reminded me of how much I love my little family of Jayson,  Ruby, and me. It's reminded me that no matter what we're doing I'm just happy to spend time with them and I'm grateful beyond words to have them in my life.

The mother of one of my co-workers passed away a couple of weeks ago. She's been having a really hard time with it, as have her kids and her father. But, today I overheard her telling someone else that since her dad misses his wife and misses going on a date night with her each Friday he's decided to take his grandkids on date night; just one each Friday so that he can spend one on one time with each of then. As I overheard this I just thought about how even though this situation is horrible it has given the Grandpa a very unique and wonderful opportunity to really connect with his Grandchildren. 

Likewise, my trials have given me some really unique opportunities. When we were going through the adoption application we were required to attend some adoption classes, which were really more like panels of adopters, adoptees, birth parents, etc. The first one we attended was on infertility. For part of it we all got in groups and briefly explained our journey to adoption. It was honestly and truly one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. We were just a bunch of strangers together in a room, brought together by difficult circumstances, pouring our hearts and souls out to one another. It probably seems totally weird, but I left that night thinking that all of the pain and heartache that I had experienced was worth it to have that moment. I also don't regret for a single second that Jayson and I have been able to have four years of marriage, just the two of us. It was never in our plans, but I'm glad it happened. It has drawn us even closer, strengthened our relationship, and allowed us to have a lot of fun times and memories together. 

Also, last week was stake temple night. Jayson wasn't able to go because of work, but I went. I was excited to see friendly faces there and enjoy their company. But, of course, I was late and I missed the session. I still went to the next session, but I was really sad that I wasn't going to see any of my friends from the ward there. I was feeling very much alone that evening. But, then, after the session, I saw one of m co-workers there with his wife. We said our hi's and how-are-you's and that was it. It wasn't anything big, but for me it meant so much. It made me realize that our Heavenly Father really is mindful of us, even when all we need is something as simple as a friendly smile. Had I not been feeling lonely I would have never been able to experience such a sweet realization.

And now this post has taken a completely different course than I intended it to. I sat down with nothing in particular to write about. I was just in a writing sort of mood and had about a billion things on my mind, so I was going to do a bullet list of sorts, but then this happened. I think it turned out better. I guess I just needed to make sense of things because this January has been a hard one. I had to say goodbye to 2012 and that was strangely hard. I normally love New Year's, but 2012 holds a special place in my heart. It was the year that we made the decision to adopt, but even more than that, it was the year I found myself again. I figured out how to really and truly enjoy life, even when things aren't going exactly how I want them to. I started to feel whole again. It also left me with unfulfilled expectations, so the fact that it was gone already was kind of mind-boggling and heartbreaking. This January also provided me with the weirdest and hardest birthday to date. It's also been really busy, cold, overwhelming, depressing, and exhausting. 

So, I guess I just needed to remind myself that out of great trials come great opportunities. And there was that part of January that I was in Disneyland/California Adventures/La Jolla/Oceanside. That part was pretty wonderful. 

Good news, February is almost here, folks. We're almost through!

The Thing about Twenty-Five

...is that it's not really old at all.



But, let me tell you, in the months leading up to my 25th birthday, 25 was feeling pretty old.

I've never been one to dread getting older. I've never understood what all of the hoopla was about with people being so cranky about getting older. A lot of people felt really old and had a hard time when they turned twenty because they weren't a teenager anymore...but I was like, "woohoo! I'm twenty!"

But 25. Man. I'm out of my early twenties and when did that even happen?!

So, I think I've figured out what all of that hoopla is about. I don't think it's so much about being afraid to get older as much as it is about what a wise little girl named Bailey once said, "...really It's more that I'm afraid of time. And not having enough of it. Time to figure out who I'm supposed to be... to find my place in the world before I have to leave it." (Ten points if you know where that came from). 

Time. I think turning another year older just makes us realize that our clock is ticking and that we are running out of time. So, if we haven't accomplished all of the things that we thought we would by this point in our lives, birthdays can leave us feeling anxious. 

At least that's what it is for me. 

So, the thought of turning 25 had me in a little bit of a funk for a while. 

But then I really thought about it I realized that 25 really isn't old at all. It's probably the most prime age that there is. You're still really young, but you're old enough that you're not too young, am I right? Plus, by 25 the average person's frontal lobe is supposed to be developed, so now I have better judgement and a better long term memory to go along with that youth-ness. So, that's a plus too. 

And, really, what do I not have time to accomplish?

I just made a goal poster for this year for myself (I've decided to do this for every birthday/new year of life) and I'm pretty sure I still have plenty of time to accomplish all of the things on it. 

And, I have plenty of time to be a mom. A lot of 25 year olds don't have any kids and I don't ever think it's weird or that they're running out of time, so I don't know why I keep thinking that about myself. So, there. Don't pretend you didn't know that was what I was talking about. 

Besides, birthdays aren't for being sad, anxious, or regretful anyway. 

Birthdays are for Dreaming, so says this card that my friend Melissa gave me. Isn't that the prettiest card you've ever seen? And, if you look closely, you can see a little Mickey Mouse at the bottom. On the inside it says: "Leave no wish unwished." That was exactly what I needed on my birthday. So, if you're feeling old, just remember that. 

And, just in case you were wanted to see a picture of me on my 25th birthday here is the only one I got with my pretty card and my ipod nano that I bought with my birthday money. Because I haven't had an ipod for like five years I figured that since I am 25 now I should probably join the 21st century, at least a little bit.  I named him Finnegan, but Finn for short, because Finn is my favorite boy's name, but I can never use it because Finn Kim sounds pretty darn stupid. I also bought a present for my present: The new Ben Gibbard album, Former Lives. I'm in love. That helped too, because sometimes all of this hoopla causes me to lose sight of myself and Ben Gibbard always helps me remember that I'm a girl who loves Ben Gibbard a whole lot, which makes me feel like myself again. Oh, Ben.

And, I kept singing this to myself on my birthday (because it has the age 25 in it, so it had to be done):


This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25...

So, that made feel feel young too. 

Look out world! I'm 25 now, I'm a great dreamer/wisher, and my brain is fully developed. Just try to stop me, I dare you. 

(I actually said that to myself on my birthday, after putting on my pinkish-peachy pants. You know the ones.)

Happily Ever 2012 and a Magical New Year

With the holidays so much has happened that I haven't yet blogged about. Naturally, there was my favorite holiday in the whole world, Christmas. Which, for some reason, I'm always really bad about documenting.

But, here is a little bit of what Christmas looked like for us:

The above picture is one of the best presents given to my mother in law. The kiddo holding the sign is my nephew and about four or five summers ago him and his family were driving to Bear Lake and he wakes up and sees the lake and says, "Bear Yake?! I Yove Bear Yake!" And we've all been saying it ever since. A little while ago my mother in law said that she wanted to get a plaque that said and thus this was born.

This year I decided to start a new tradition for our little family. I decided each year we'd get an ornament that symbolized something significant that happened for us that year. Jayson got a heart for adoption and I got a fox because I finally got Ruby (I've been wanting a dog for forever!) and everyone says she looks like a little fox.

My sisters in law are the coolest. 

And then a few days after Christmas we headed out to southern California for the first ever (well, the first one I've been to besides Bear Lake trips) big family vacation with Jayson's family.

 This is the only picture I got of the drive out there, but it's a cute one!

 This picture cracks me up.

 We had to get a picture of Joshua next to a Joshua tree at Joshua Tree National Forest.

Grilling in December.

There were also in the Joshua Tree National Forest. They're really cool cacti that are apparently supposed to  jump at you a little if you get to close and their needles have barbs on the end, so they can be hard and painful to get out. But, they're pretty cool to look at.

Pride Rock.

                                     

This was a cool old mill from a mine in the Joshua Tree.

And this is what New Year's Eve looked like for us this year. This is the first New Year's ever I can recall being out of town. Obviously it was wonderful.

Kelly gets the award for the first to fall asleep. I think he was even out before the babies.

And then there was New Year's Day. I just want to tell you that I think Disneyland is the very best way to start out a New Year. 2013 is bound to be a good year! It wasn't even super crowded (partially due to the fact that the Rose Bowl was that day, I'd imagine) and it was still all decked out in Christmas decorations. Christmas and Disneyland are two of my very favorite things, so having both of them together...well, I just about died. It's been a dream of mine for a long time to see Disneyland at Christmastime too. Seriously, as soon as I entered the park I wanted to cry. It was incredible. It honestly was one of the most magical experiences of my life. 

This was after Splash Mountain. Jayson was wearing his jacked on the ride, so it only got the part of the shirt not covered by the jacked wet! We thought it was funny, so we took a picture.

The Haunted Mansion all decked out in Nightmare Before Christmas stuff.

We didn't get to see fireworks because of the wind, which I was really bummed about, but we did get to see them light the castle and they even made it snow some fake snow. I might have almost cried when it started fake snowing because this one little kid got SO excited. He was like, "SNOW!!!" And I imagined in my head that it was a California child who had never seen snow before.

Small World is one of my favorite rides. I know it's super cheesy and it gets on a lot of people's nerves, but I've always loved it. I love that it shows all of the different cultures and then at they end everyone is in white and all together and it feels a little bit like heaven. It's magnificent all decorated for Christmas and it even has the cutest Christmas decorations inside the ride. It was honestly one of my favorite parts of the day!



We also got to spend some time in La Jolla, which is one of my favorite places in the world. It was also probably the warmest day of our trip, so we played in the ocean a little bit. I love the ocean with my whole entire heart and I miss it already. My one and only tiny regret of the trip is that I didn't get to spend more time with the ocean.

I love the photobomb by the other Karissa

Can you tell that they're related?

I taught the above kiddo how to say "ocean". Because that's what good aunts do.

This poor little guy was playing on the shore and not paying attention when a big wave washed on the sand and he go SOAKED.

And while we were in La Jolla I got to fulfill another dream of mine. I finally got to go into the San Diego temple and it was just as beautiful as I ever imagined it would be. It was even decked with Christmas lights!

After that we spend our last day on vacation in California Adventures. I got to ride the Little Mermaid ride! Which, by the way, was super cute. And you guys...Cars Land! You have to go there. It is seriously incredible. Like, really. Disney really out-did themselves. I wish I would have taken more pictures of it, but I was just to aw struck to even think about it. And the new Radiator Springs ride was INCREDIBLE. Seriously, it looked like you stepped right into the movie. Go there. Right now. Get there when the park first opens and head straight over to get a fast pass for it though, otherwise you might wait FOREVER. And just so you know the fast pass is nowhere near the ride. It's all the way over by the Tower of Terror. And the World of Color! I cried. Everyone cried. It's absolutely one of the best things you will ever see.

It was this little baby's first time in a Disney Park, so naturally it had to be documented. I love that it looks like she has a huge double chin.

This girl probably looks bored on the Sea Horse because her favorite ride is Hollywood Tower of Terror. Seriously. She rode it like four times.

This kiddo got pretty tired, but he was a trooper. His being tired also made for some good snuggle time with Uncle Jayson, which Jayson absolutely loved, during the SUPER long Toy Story ride line.

And there you have it. I will probably eventually reflect on 2012 and tell you of my goals for 2013 and all that jazz, but this blog post has gotten unreasonably long already, so we'll save that for another day. Have a magical evening!