Reading Books and Other Things

I know I just barely wrote yesterday and I basically never post two days in a row...but I just feel like writing. So, there you go.

So, lately I've been thinking...Hey! Maybe I should get a job.

Because in case you didn't know I haven't been working since June. I quit my job in June. It's a long story, but just in case you're wondering I was pretty happy about it.

So, I've been voluntarily unemployed all Summer. And you know what? It's kind of the been the best thing ever. For some reason I feel really weird and pathetic saying that, but it's the best. It's not that I just love to bum around all day (although some days that is nice). But, I've loved having things to do that I've always wanted to do. I'm learning to actually love to cook. I love getting things around the house accomplished (well, sometimes). I love that I'm able to babysit so often for my family and friends. I have more opportunities to serve. I started sewing and crocheting again, things I've been wanting to do for FOREVER. And I've been reading. Sometimes I forget how much I really love to read!
But, more on reading later.

So. Yes. A job.

It's not that I really hated my previous job. The people were really wonderful, the benefits were really nice, the PTO was fantastic, and it was a good company to work for. But, man, the actual job I was doing...well. Let's just say it wasn't my very favorite. It was my this-job-is-just-temporary-until-I-have-a-baby sort of job. And, well. It was a 3 1/2 year temporary job is what it was. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't quit sooner, but then I remember that trying to find a job whilst putting all of your energy into infertility treatments/adoption process/foster care process really just wasn't going to happen anyway.

So, I feel like I'm at some sort of crossroads/maybe quarter life crisis sort of point. Not a quarter life crisis in a regretful sort of way, but more of a confused sort of crisis. I liken unto that fact that this past month I've bee SO ready for Summer to be over, but then not at all ready for Fall yet, so I've just been sitting in Limbo and really confused about what I actually want things to be. Which is super weird because Fall is my favorite and by the start of August I'm always ready for it to be here. (Worry not though, we're over that. We're in full let-it-be-fall mode over here.)

Because, for the most part, I don't regret my choices. I just don't really know what to choose next.

So, let me just tell you. I want to get a job (well, ok, half of the time I want to), but it's confusing. I really really want to be a stay at home mom once I have kids. It might seem really weird and silly to many, but it's my life's ambition. That's my dream job. I know it's not glamorous and some might think I'm not reaching high enough or that I'm not achieving enough. I know it's not everyone's goal and we all have different dreams. I'm not saying that it better be your dream too or else. I'm just saying it's mine. But, of course, the timing of that is a mystery.
And, here's the thing. I know I shouldn't put my life on hold waiting for things. But, also, there is a good chance that we might be doing foster care (more about that later.) if adoption doesn't work out soon. And, working is not highly recommended when you're a foster parent, especially if younger children are placed in your home. Also, when you're a foster parent you don't usually have much notice of when a child is coming, so what do you tell your employer? "Hey, we had a foster child placed in our home last night, so basically I'm not working anymore, Peace!" I mean, I just really don't know.

Also, I feel like I've finally gotten into a really great grove of this being at home thing where I'm actually pretty productive most of the time and accomplishing most of the things I want to. And loving it. And being pretty good at it. And those sorts of things.

Anyway, I've been job searching tonight and there are quite a few jobs that look really appealing. Like, ones that would use my degree and everything! But, again, I just don't even know what to do.

I could just get some temporary jobs or something. But, I don't want to get stuck at a job I don't like very much again, thank you very much.

What I actually want to do instead of make money is to spend it on school. I think it would be so wonderful to study literature (we'll get to the whole reading part of this post eventually, I swear). I have a few friends that are really passionate about art history and they always make me want to study that whenever they talk about it. I also want to get a degree in Social Work. And writing! I have learned that I love to write. And people have told me I'm pretty good it. I never really knew! So, what I really want to do is to never work, but to always learn. But, well, school doesn't pay for our really expensive COBRA insurance. Without which, I might not be so stressed about this job thing. Because, you sort of have to have health insurance to adopt and insurance companies aren't very keen to insure infertile people. Another time though, it's a story for another time.

And, don't worry. We're not starving or anything. We're fine. It's just that extra money would be very helpful. Especially for saving up. Especially if we decide do adopt through a private agency because...shoot. That's expensive.

Although, if I were I student I could probably get student health insurance. Now, there really might be something there...

But, the semester has already started, so really there isn't anything that can be done about that right now. I always tend to think of these sort of things too late in the game.

But then, somewhere in the midst of job searching I got distracted by books and decided that I think the best solution is that I stay home and read all of the time because I have now compiled a list of no less than 30 books that I want to read right this very second. I want to get lost in their lovely stories while I soak in the tub, lay in the sun, or snuggle up on the couch with my big white afghan with Ruby at on the floor next to the couch, also snuggled up in my big white afghan. Man I love that afghan. I love the way it feels, the way it looks....anyway. Now we're getting way off topic.

What I really meant for this post to be about was reading. But, I guess I just needed to get that job stuff out of my system or something.

So, I want to show you my list of books.

• The William Joyce books (the ones that the movie The Rise of the Guardians was based off of.  I've actually already read a couple of them. They're delightful.)
• Chronicles of Narnia- Obviously I've already read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but still.
• Great Expectations
• A Tale of Two Cities- I sort of read this once in High School and I really liked it, but I never finished it. I have a bad habit of not finishing books.
• Peter Pan- I've actually read this a couple of times before, but it's one of my very favorites.
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
• James and the Giant Peach
• The Grass Harp-I've also read this. It's another favorite.
• The Adventures of Tom Sawyer- I can't believe I've never read this. My dad loves this book. You guys, my dad does not read. Well, actually he reads hunting, fishing, and taxidermy magazines. But, not books. So, this is a big deal.
• Winnie the Pooh
• Little Women- I started this one and never finished it. You guys, it's a problem.
• The Secret Garden
• Matilda
• Anne of Green Gables
• The Little Prince
• Alice in Wonderland
• The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
• Mary Poppins
• East of Eden

And a few that I've never heard much about, but just found on lists on the internet that look fun

• Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret
• Boy by Roald Dahl
• The Witches
• The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

So, apparently I'm pretty into children's literature. 

And, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that there are not thirty bullets. But, let us remember that some of the bullets are series, so I promise there are at least thirty. What are your favorite books? What books do you recommend? I kind of want to do something crazy like read fifty books in a year or something. Probably that won't actually happen, but still. I just want all of you to tell me what books you love. Or what books you think I would love. I want a book list that goes on forever. 

For a second I thought about starting a book club. Some of you may remember that I tried that once. It was pretty small and we read one book and that was the end of that. So, obviously I'm the worst book club president ever.

Also, there are about a hundred crafts that I want to make, but I will bore you with that some other time.

Sorry you guys. I know, I know. This post is the craziest.

Over and out.

This and That With a Rattle a Tat

I have for you yet another update via bullet points.

Aren't bullet points the best?

• I'm a student again! Sort of. Actually I'm only taking one class. Wanna guess what it is? I bet you'll never guess.

It's interior design. Why, you might ask, am I taking an interior design class? Sometimes I ask myself the same question. In all reality I wanted to take an occupational therapy class to see if I liked the field, since I want to go to grad school one day (I think), but I can never decide exactly what subject to study. However, the occupational therapy classes that would fit in with my schedule were full, because I sort of decided to take a class last minute. As in like..three days before the semester started. By the time I figured out all of the classes were full I had already had my heart set on taking a class, so I looked through all of the subjects and I came across interior design. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got...so I just went for it. Truth be told though, I've always loved interior design. I remember going with my dad to look at houses when he was looking for a house and looking forward to it every time. When I was younger I loved going to Home Depot with him so I could look at all of those little kitchens they have set up as displays. I've always loved pouring over magazines with pictures of rooms inside. After working on our house so much I remembered how much I really loved it. Am I going to make a career out it? Mmmmm probably not. But I'm loving the class. I guess that's a great perk about being graduated....you get to go to school for fun if you want to, and I want to. Not that I didn't enjoy school before, but I cannot deny that it was incredibly stressful. Now I get to focus on just one class and cut pictures of pretty room and put them in notebooks. (Ok, really there's a lot more to it than that, but really, I look at these magazines for fun everytime I go to the store.)

• A lot of people have been inquiring as to why I don't have a dog yet. A big reason is that we still have yet to put a fence around our yard. Even so, I definitely think about having a dog a fair amount. I have narrowed it down to three types of dogs that I really really want. Observe:

The Lab. Labs, particularly of the black variety have a very dear place in my heart. Remember how they're my patronus? Yep. I've grown up with them. I've always had a special lab in my life, since the day I was born. They are some of the naughtiest puppies around, but the grow up to be the best dogs in the whole wide world. They're so friendly and usually pretty darn smart. So, why not just get one? Here's the thing. I kind of don't want to get a dog until I have kids and I'm a stay at home mom. I know that probably seems weird to a lot of you, but I just don't want to leave a dog home alone all day while I'm at work. Especially a puppy. ESPECIALLY a lab puppy. But, I just might change my mind someday. Because, well, I really want a dog. Life without a dog is sort of weird for me.

My second dilemma is that lab puppies really like to bite. It's in a very playful sort of way, but it really freaks little kids out sometimes, so if I don't get a dog until I have kids I don't really know if a lab puppy is the very best idea, as I don't want them biting and freaking out my kids. But, one day I will own a lab. You mark my words. It just might not be until I have kids and they're a little older.

The Great Dane. I have recently fallen completely in love with Danes. My sister in law has a Great Dane and we've watched him a couple of times while they've been out of town and I just adore him. What can I say...I guess I love big dogs. Also, I have a really big backyard, so I'm suppose to have a big dog. That's the rule.

They're calm, they're cuddly, they're adorable. Need I say more? This is probably Jayson's choice in dog. The biggest down side it that they only have a life expectancy of about 6-7 years. :(

The Newfoundland or Newfie. These guys are kind of a Dane and a Lab mixed together, so it's hard to go wrong. They're supposed to be amazing with kids, really smart, calm, and loving. They also don't have a super long life expectancy and...wow that's a lot of fur.

Have any of you ever had any of these types of dogs? Or mixes of them? Would you recommend them? I'm not the kind of person that really cares if their dog is a purebred.

Also, has anyone ever done allergy shots? Do they work? Are they wicked expensive? Jayson is slightly allergic to dogs. It's not a bad allergy, but enough so that it might be unpleasant for him to live with dogs. We have discovered though, that if a dog is bathed often he does ok, so hopefully we'll work something out.

Now that I've probably bored you with dog talk I'll move on to the next bullet.

• Jayson has decided that he wants to build furniture. Why? Because he's Jayson. He has a lot of crazy ambitions. He doesn't want to do it as a career, because he loves his chosen field, but more as a side job or a hobby of some sort. Yea, he's definately crazy. Do you know what though? His crazy ambitions are one of the things I love most about him. He's one of the few people I know who actually truly and completely believes that he can do anything. It's so refreshing. He's also been pouring over our cook books lately and trying some new recipes. I definately don't mind that. Yea. He works in demolition and loves to cook. Where did I get this guy?


• Jayson is also becoming a wiz at fixing cars. I love being married to a handyman.


• Life as of late feels....different? I can't really put my finger on it. Nothing has changed, but it feels different. In a good way. For years I've said that I feel like I'm 17 years old and that I'm just teenager pretending to be a grown up by doing grown up things. But lately I don't feel 17 anymore. I feel 24. And it's kind of bizarre. Over this past month I've felt more like an adult than I ever have before and I can't really figure out why. I've been doing adult type of things for years now. I've lived on my own, gone on vacations without my parents, got married, bought a house, etc. I really feel like Jayson and I are making our own lives now. Maybe it's because we now live in a more permanent place. I think I've just sort of felt like a drifter since I graduated high school and now I feel firmly planted. It's a great feeling, actually. It sounds a lot more boring than drifting, but I'm actually pretty fond of boring things.


• All in all life is actually really great. Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like you have a new zest for life? I've felt like that a lot lately. It's one of the best feelings in the world.

And now I'm going to share a quote with you because I discovered it a week or so ago and fell in love with it: “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ”

― Mary Anne Radmacher

That quote is exactly what I need. Sometimes life is hard and trying again tomorrow is all we can do. It may seem like a small thing, but I think it's a pretty big thing.

Well, this post made a whole lot less sense than I thought it would

Thus, I will leave you with this video. You should watch it. It makes me cry every time. It's kept me going on some really hard days.

My favorite part is when he says, "Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead."

And...that's a wrap.

The Ultimate New Year's Post

Reflection:
2010 was...
absolutely nothing like I thought it would be. Seriously, if you asked me at the beginningn of 2010 what my year would be like I would have given you a completely different story than what actually happened. But, with that said, it was still a pretty fabulous year.

Highlights/Major events:

• Late 2009 we moved from Logan to Salt Lake, leaving us the most poor we've ever been in our marriage (which is saying a lot) in early 2010
• By the end of 2010 we were/are more well off than we've been in our entire marriage. I'm not certain how that happens in just one year.
• I graduated from Utah State!! (wha? Did that really happen?)
• Jayson decided to stop going to school and go into business with his dad, which solved an insane amount of problems and answered an insane amount of questions for us.
• My work decided to let me work full time and thus we got good health insurance and dental insurance.
• Baby Adam was born! (the first, and only thus far, baby of the Sisterhood..so, he's kind of a big deal.)
• One member of my Sisterhood, Cameo, got called on her mission, went through the temple, and left on her mission.
• Three of Jayson's cousins, one of my cousins, and a few really close friends got married! It was definately the year of weddings, which is saying a lot because I attened a lot of weddings in 2007, 2008, and 2009.
• We went on Trek with our stake
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 was released in theaters.
• Many many camping trips with family and friends, including Lake Powell, and the blissful non-holiday weekend at Bear Lake where we got to ski and knee board to our hearts content without having to fight the crowds.
• Another member of my Sisterhood, Sarah, moved away, to California
• We found out we're getting a new nephew in May, 2011
• We decided to start looking for a house...wowie!
• Another member of my Sisterhood, Marni, decided to move to Arizona, and did so early 2011.

I am sure there are a few things that are not on that list that I can't think of at the moment. Thus, 2010 was quite a year with a whole lot of changes.
Out With the Old and in With the New:
We've made a few new purchases that we're excited about. We've never really had nice comforter set, so we decided that since our birthdays are just a month apart we'd splurge and use this as our birthday present. It's reversable too!! It even came with cute (also reversable) decorative pillows. Observe:

We realized that since we are going to buy a house we'd want furniture to go in that house and that our one love seat probably wasn't going to cut it. Plus, we've been wanting more seating for a while. We kinda feel bad when we have people over and only two people have a place to sit. Thankfully, Jayson's brother was selling his entertainment set and two couches, so we snatched them up, because they were a good price (and buying two new couches is kind of expensive). It really gave our living room a new and more classic look. We are very pleased. Observe:

Blast. I don't know why I didn't take Jayson's shoes out before I took the picture.

Goals:

What is a New Year's post without goals, right? The word "resolution" seems to have a lot of negative connotation about people never actually doing them, so I'm going to call them goals.

• Keep my aparment clean. I have much room for improvement on this. It's clean right now and it's such a great feeling.
• Be organized. I have so many projects I need to do that have to do with organization. I have pictures, files, papers, etc. that are just piled on my shelf.
• Work out for 20 minutes, at least four times a week. That might seem like a piece of cake for some of you, but I'm lucky if I work out one time a week these days. Baby steps people, baby steps.
• Buy a house!
• Keep in touch with my friends that live far away, and spend time with the ones that live close.
• Finish scrapbooking. I planned on doing a scrapbook for each year of our marriage. That can't be too hard right? Guess how many I have done. Zero. I haven't even started. In fact, I have yet to finish our Wedding scrapbook. I want to try and do one per month, so I'll be done by the last day of March. Although, if we buy a house before then that might supercede all other goals while we're inspecting, moving, unpacking, etc.
• Learn to cut Jayson's hair. I've been intending to do this since we've been engaged, so it's high time I actually do it.
• Sew something. I don't know what, but something. Maybe two things. I've been really wanting to get back in touch with my creative side because I feel like I've been disconnected from that side of me for years. So, I've decided to start with sewing, because I think it's really practicle and I want to be able to mend or alter things when I need to.
• Be more calm. I worry so much about so many things and I really want to be more relaxed about things in general.
• Make a priority list for my New Year's goals.

I have some ideas about what 2011 will bring, but let's be honest, it will probably be completely different.

Either way, I think it is going to be a fantastic year.

I am in Love With a Boy, Manufactured to Destroy

When Jayson and I got married Jayson's career goal was to be a high school Physics and Chemistry teacher. Along with that were things like real estate and owning his own business, so that he could make more money to support a family.

Then, last December he decided to change his major to Computer Engineering. I thought for sure this was the best switch for him. He was loving his classes and it was the kind of stuff that he would study in his free time anyway.

He's just had hard time figuring out exactly what he wants to do. The problem was always the same. Jayson wants to do it ALL. He's interested in EVERYTHING. While this is not condusive for choosing a major or planning out our live (but seriously...how well does planning out life go anyway?), this has always been one of my favorite things about him. He is so curious and fascinated by EVERYTHING. This is a constant reminder to me of how valuable learning and knowledge is.

Well, good news. He's figured it out.

This summer Jayson started working for the company my dad works for doing some interior construction. Then in the middle of July he started working for his dad, who owns a demolition and a concrete crushing business. Then, out of the blue, or so it seemed ot me at the time, he decided that he would be happier not having a desk job. So, naturally, that whole computer engineering thing kind of went out the window. He decided that he really loves to work with his hands. After talking to him more about it I came to realize that this was not out of the blue. This idea had been stewing in his head for weeks. Of course, he knew he was really loving it over the summer, but his biggest worry was whether or not he'd love it in the years to come...

So, after much thought, information gathering, taking with his dad, and of course prayer Jayson decided that he's going to go into the family business!!!!

So, does this mean the Kims are done with school?

It sure does. Done. Finished. Flown the Coop. We are out of there.
For now anyway.

I know, I know, you're probably thinking..."WHAT?!! THAT'S CRAZY!"

But, hear me out.

This makes sense for us. We are now going to have a higher and steadier income. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not totally opposed and much to good for the the poor college life. The poor college life is all fine and dandy, and we really didn't mind it. However, as you may have gathered from a previous post, my eggs are more than likely not going to be very good at forming babies. I have the same genetic translocation as my mom, and it took her FIVE years of trying to have me. Since we'd like to have more than two children and I'd really like to be done having children by the time I'm about 35, the odds are already not in ourfavor. Therefore, we feel a push to not put off trying to have children and word on the street is, they're not cheap. We have also thought a lot about adoption. LDS family services allows you to start the adoption process after two years of marriage, which is quickly approaching for us. We have spent hours, days, even weeks of planning and trying to figure out how we'd ever be able to afford it and how we could get established sooner so that we could have that option. We figured that no one in their right mind would allow us to adopt their baby with the income we had...at least I know I wouldn't. Computer Engineering was looking grim. It was going to still take him AT LEAST until fall of '13 to graduate because of prerequisites and the semesters they would be taught in and the way they were laid out. So, presto. This was a great answer to our prayers and we are SO grateful for it. Plus, it turns out that after a couple of promotions Jayson will be making just as much as a computer engineer anyway. So...more money now and later instead of just later? Yes, please.

Not only does it make the most sense for us, but it's what he wants to do. Remember how he loves learning? He's already learning mountains of things and has so much more to learn. He wants to involved in all aspects, the office, the business, the hard labor...everything. Needless to say..he is stoked. He's already started reading textbooks about different things that will help him.
Plus, most importantly of all, we feel really good about it. We have come to realize how so many little revelations have led us to this one little reveltion. Seemingly unrelated when they first happened, so many of our decisions were leading us straight to this one.

Personally, I just want him to do what make him happy. Well, ok...and I'm super glad he's made up his mind.

Life is good to us.

When I grow up.....

Remember that one time that I posted that incredibly long explaination of what I want to do with my degree/future degrees? I talked about attachment theory, its affects on adopted children, and wanting to educate people about it?
Well, believe it or not, this job actually exists.

When you adopt from LDS family services you have to take series of class before hand. I want to be the person who teaches those classes.

The end.

Full Steam Ahead!

Thanksgiving was wonderful. It turned out even better than we thought, we were actually able to go visit all three of our families without it being a hassle at all. First stop was my dad's where there was great food and a strange, but wonderful array of people. At his house it's never about who's blood or even legally related. Everyone that has a place in our hearts is family and is welcome. I love it! Then we went to my mom's. It was great to see my step-sisters. I don't get to see them too often and I love it when I do. My Uncle Jason and Aunt Kristen were also there with their two boys, who I don't think I've seen in like a year!
Last, but not least we stopped by the Kims. They had dinner at 2, but it was about 7 at night and almost everyone was still there....and more came, even after us. Jayson's mom's side of the family is very close and it's always so much fun to be there when they all get together, I absolutely love it.
So, our Thanksgiving was basically perfect.

December sure is going to be quite the month!!
First, there's the end of the semester push...which means every class wants a paper in and they want it now. We'll see how that goes.
It also means....Finals are just around the corner...AHHHHH. But, by December 9th both Jayson and I will be completely done with the semester! Plus, our Christmas break is AN ENTIRE MONTH LONG! a break that will be much needed.
Then, just a few days after finals we'll make the big move.
And...GOOD NEWS!

WE FINALLY FOUND AN APARTMENT!
We were getting a little worried (well, mostly I was getting a little worried) because yesterday we realized it would be exactly two weeks until we moved and we didn't have a place to move into. I figured we'd being staying with one of our parents until we found one, but PRESTO! We went apartment searching and we found an awesome deal quite close to campus. We'll be living in another basement with another very small stove. However, the kitchen is bigger (of course, I can't imagine a smaller one) and we're pretty stoked about it. The kitchen also has some very retro floor that I'm pretty fond of. It's also got two bedrooms, which is another step-up. Also, even though it's a basement, it's actually got really great lighting in the front room and the main bedroom is HUGE! It's very cozy looking too...needless to say, we're both pretty excited about it. Then after we move out and in it will be just a week until our anniversary! We're going to dinner and then staying at a bed and breakfast....although what bed and breakfast and where we're going to dinner is a suprise to me. Exactly one week after our anniversary is my favorite holiday of all time, Christmas!! I love everything about it. I love celebrating the birth of our dear Savior, the music, the feeling that it brings, the spirit of service in the air, the hot chocolate, the beautiful lights, the decorations, and spending time with family. It's going to be a very crazy, but very awesome month!

In other news, Jayson has decided to change his major to Computer Engineering. He has been building a website as of late where he teaches Spanish by video. I won't give out the link yet because it's still, "under construction", But we're pretty hopeful and excited about it. He hopes to have it up and running in the next few weeks, so we hope everyone will check it out! Anyway, because of this website he's been really learning a lot and enjoying working with computers. He's still going to minor in Physics because still wants to teach it eventually, but he might take a few detours on the way so that our only income in the future isn't just from him being a school teacher.

And there you have it!