Easter

I am actually really looking forward to Easter this Sunday. This is kind of a big deal for me; let me tell you why...

It was a few Easters ago that I realized....Hey! Easter is probably least favorite holiday.

I always feel bad saying this because I know that it's suppose to be a celebration of the Resurrection of Christ, but seriously, what do we do during Easter that celebrates that? I know that a lot of people are beginning to not like Christmas because it's getting so commercialized, but at least it still has the idea of giving. I just really don't see what coloring eggs, hiding eggs that were given by a bunny (why are they given by a bunny? Did he steal them from the spring chickens? Very. Bizarre.) has to do with the real reason for Easter.

I guess just don't remember ever feeling very spiritual on Easter, and I think that that should be a HUGE aspect of it, considering it celebrates something so sacred, so it has seemed pointless to me the past few years. Aside from the great camping trips with my family and the fact that you can get these: (my favorite candy of ALL time. I don't know why the eggs are better than any other type, they just are. I think there's more peanut butter. Plus, you don't have to deal with the jagged outside edge. ) Easter just hasn't ever made much sense to me.

Secondly, I really don't like rabbits. Not even a little bit. I know that this is a very bizarre concept for people and no one really understands this. I know that they are suppose to be cute, but I really just don't think so. (Except for the rabbits on Disney's version of Robin Hood. Those ones are adorable.) This has not always been the case, but in my youth I encountered an especially evil rabbit and my dog, Chevy, used to bring dead ones home all of the time. I don't know if he's the one that hurt them or if he found them that way, but they were gross. End of story. I am 99% sure that is why I don't like rabbits. Also, why are they so strangely colored during Easter? That just makes them even more unappealing.

Now, I didn't make this post just to tell everyone how much I dislike Easter. I hope to have my posts at least some-what uplifting. Last Sunday, during singing time in primary, Sister Rich (who is in the Primary Presidency of my ward) brought little rice crispy treats she had decorated with green coconut (to look like grass) and jelly beans and chocolate egg-shaped candies (as the eggs) so that they looked like nests as a treat for the kids for Easter. When she said she brought these to remind everyone of the true meaning of Easter, I thought to myself, "Oh boy. Eggs? Nests? It has nothing to do with the real meaning of Easter." Then she started talking. She explained that little baby birds are hatched from eggs. Eggs bring the spirit of spring, they represent new birth. In that way they can remind us all of the "re-birth" of Christ. I thought that it was a simple and beautiful speech. So, thank you, Sister Rich.

After I realized that I honestly just haven't looked hard enough for ways to celebrate Easter in a more spiritual and sacred manner. It has been my own fault all along that I haven't had spiritual Easters. It has been my own fault that I haven't liked Easter. So, I've made a resolve to like Easter this year. This year Easter is on general conference weekend. I am really stoked for this. What better way could there be to celebrate Easter than to listen to our Prophet and Apostles speak of the Savior?

Also, I'd really like to start some more spiritual Easter traditions for Jayson and me, and then carry those on to our future children. I haven't quite thought of what they are going to be yet, but if any of you have any suggestions, I am ALL ears.

I hope you all have a lovely Easter!

Cam

Wowee, two posts in one day! I've never done that before! (Yes, you're right. I just wrote that so that you'd all notice that there is another new post below this one.)

In second grade I missed the first day of school because I was on vacation with my family. On the second day of second grade one of the best things in my life happened, although I didn't know it at the time. My teacher gave me a special job to do. She introduced me to a classmate named Cameo. She explained to me that Cameo lived near me and so she rode the same bus as me and that she wasn't able to find the right bus the day before. It was my job to make sure she got onto the right bus. That was the day I met one of my very best friends in the whole world.

We remained friends through the years. I became active in the church for a few years in primary and then stopped going. I started again when I turned 12 and entered the Young Women's program, and never stopped. However, Cameo remained a non-member for many years.( just as a side note, I don't want anyone to think that I think less of people who are non-members, nor that I think they are defined by that. I am just pointing out that fact because it is crucial to understand thi story.) She often showed curiosity in the church and I always had high hopes that she'd join, but not much ever came of that curiosity. That is not until.....

Our freshman year of college was a wonderful year. I had felt inspired to go to Utah State with my very best friends from high school, after much indecision. Cameo was also having some trouble deciding where to go to school, but she finally decided to join us in Logan. This year was filled so much joy, fun, and laughter. However, the very best part of it happened that very fall of 2006. One rainy October monrning it was Stake Conference. Our friend Suzanne and I wanted to go, but my wind sheild wipers weren't working and I'm fussy about driving anyhow, so being the kind person she is, Cameo drove us to the Tabernacle. Suzanne, being brave, invited her to join us. Cameo agreed. For the first time ever she felt and recognized the Spirit that day. I will never ever forget it. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Shortly after that, she took the missionary discussions, and a couple of miracles later, she was baptized on November 18th., 2006. Because of that experience the three of us resolved to go on missions. I didn't quite make it, (I was married one month before my 21st birthday, but it is really alright, because I'd never trade Jayson for the world, and I have plenty of missionary work to do right here.) but Suzanne is is serving right now in the St. Louis, Missouri mission and just a few weeks ago Cameo was called to the Santo Domingo West, Dominican Republic mission. I am so proud of them both and I know that they are already fabulous missionaries!

Yesterday, I got to share yet another special experience with Cameo. She went through the temple for the first time. It was so great to see her beaming smile there. At the end of it she was crying, and I nearly was too. I could just feel while I was there how special of an experience it was and how much the temple truly blesses out lives. I just know that her life is going to be enriched because of the blessings she has now received. Again, I am so proud of her. It took her a lot more than most people to get to this point. She is such a strong and valliant person.

Me, Cameo, and Vienna after the temple

Cameo is UNSTOPPABLE!! (That one was for you, Cam.)

You've Got to Pay to Play

The title of this blog is a rather unfortunate truth it seems sometimes. My dad has been using this phrase since I can remember, and throughout my life I've discovered just how true it is. I don't want this post to be negative though, so let me just say, even though the title is an unfortunate truth, it's a phrase I'm fond of, because it's used so often by my dad, and he never says it with great dissapointment. It's always simply stated as a fact. Actually, often he says it with a strange grin and accent, as he pats me or the dog on the head.

I have felt like I understood this phrase for a while, but now it is taking on a strange and new meaning. But, in order to understand that, I have to recap my spring break:

I was a little bit bummed out about my spring break at first. It is my last one and I wanted to do something fun, but since Jayson and I are attending different universities, we both had different weeks off for spring break. Whenever anyone would ask me what my plans were I'd complain in my head thinking, "This year for spring break, I'm going to work four days instead of three. Oh joy." I was also bummed because it seemed like everyone else got to start their spring break right after school got out that Friday, but mine didn't begin until that Sunday because I had midterms due all weekend. However, I reminded myself that even though I wasn't going or doing anything spectacular, the week long break from homework would be nice, and it was. I even gave myself two extra days of no homework. Since I'm taking online classes I didn't have to actually attend class or turn in anything for a couple of days, so I extended my dear spring break. While I like being in a classroom better, online classes definately have their perks.

My first triumphant moment of Spring Break was finishing the TV series, Avatar: The Last Airbender. MIND BLOWING. Seriously, there are no words to describe the pure awesomeness of the last couple of espisodes. To illustrate this, I'm going to share a quote from my Aunt Kristen (Todd's sister in law): "Wanna know how much I love the Last Airbender? I was in labor with Noah and trying to finish the series finale! I finally had to turn it off cuz I *really* needed to get the hospital. Had Noah two hours later!!! It was an inspiration, Noah is lucky his name wasn't Aang, yip yip!"

The last weekend of spring break Jayson and I did manage to take a trip to Logan to visit friends. The last weekend of my break overlapped with the first weekend of Jayson's so it was perfect. Neither one of us had to worry about homework or anything while we were up there. We just got to simply see our friends and have fun. It was absolutely marvelous! It was filled with good food, good conversation, warmish weather (I even got to wear my flip flops!), and I showed a few of my friends Avatar: The Last Airbender. I don't think they're quite as impressed as me, but I think they are warming up to it. :)

My extended spring break was just as good as my actual spring break. This past Tuesday night Jayson and I were able to get together with a friend of mine from my home ward, her husband, and their little boy. It was an absolute joy to see her again and to catch up on things! Later that day we spend the rest of the night with a few of the Kim's. We watch The Princess and the Frog and then broke into a completely random and unplanned dance party with Jayson's younger sisters Karissa and Jana around midnight. It may seems a bit silly to some, but for me it was a wonderous experience. First off, I love dancing. There's just someting about it. I always feel like my body and soul are most connected while dancing (and swimming.) Second, as I looked at the people I was dancing with I couldn't help but think to myself, "This is how I know I married into the right family." It's a funny thought, but it was also very serious. I really feel like I married into the perfect family for me.

My point with this post title is to say that, yes you have to pay to play in the sense that a lot of the time you have to work hard to be able to afford time off, and when you get back from a break everything has piled up while you were gone. However, there's more. It seems like part of paying is that I need a break from school so much more when I get back from spring break than before I had it. It's SO hard to go back to everyday life after a break for me. Also, whenever I got Logan it seems that I miss my friends more the moment I leave than before I went up there. Somehow those two day trips are never completely sufficient. I wil get back into the swing of things though, and all in all, I realize that feeling this way just means that my life is really awesome.

60 Days

Ok, so probably most of you don't care that much but....
THERE'S ONLY 60 DAYS UNTIL I GRADUATE!
Yes, my friends, that's right. Two months exactly.

Fabulous.

On another high note next week is spring break, so I just have to make it through midterms and I get a nice break! This pleases me, despite the fact that my professors think that it's fine to have my midterms due over this weekend (not cool) since I'm online and it's not technially spring break until next Monday. But, I will try with all of my might to get them done before hand. I'm a tad bit nervous because, well, let's just say I'm not as caught up with the reading as I'd like, and apparently my professors this semester don't believe in study guides. Not a single one. I love study guides. They save my life, but alas, I have none. It just seems crazy to me that I'm suppose to know exactly what to study within like 6 chapters of a text book. Oh well, such is life. wish me luck!

Three cheers for spring break!
Three cheers for 2 more months of school!

I've Crossed The River and I'm Almost There

This title was inspired by the song Almost There from the Princess and the Frog, an excellent movie if I do say so myself.

It's the title of this post because of the miracle that happened last weak. Somehow I ended up with an impossible amount of homework. My homework list was as follows:

• five chapters of a textbook
• one quiz on each of those chapters
• 19 assignments
• and a ten page literature review for my reserach class.

With the help of my boss (who let me take a day off of work) and a miracle from up above (it had to be, I was sure there was NO WAY!) I finished all of it, except for two of the assignments and my paper actually only ended up being 7 pages long.
How did I possibly end up with this much homework? It was a mixture of my CD ROM for my class not being sent with my textbook like it was suppose to be at the beginning of the semester. Then, when I ordered it again it never got here...so I had to order it AGAIN (that's where all of the assignments came from). It was a bit of me being really busy so I wasn't able to catch up on the assignments I had missed while my CD ROM was MIA. It was also a little bit of procrastination, of course. But, anyhow, it was a miracle I got all done just the same. For some reason it's been made very apparent to that I am REALLY suppose to graduate this semester.
And to that I say...Bring it on, midterms.
Don't worry though, the week wasn't a total loss. On Friday we went the the Pie Pizzeria downtown and had Buffalo Ranch pizza, which was AMAZING!!!! After that Jayson's sister Karissa (Yes, for those of you who don't know, her name is Karissa Kim too. Crazy, right?) came over and watched some good old Avatar with us. I still haven't finished all of the episodes yet though, so those of you know things, don't tell me please.:)
In other news...we have new callings! I know what you're thinking, ALREADY?! That's what I was thinking too when they told us. Jayson has been made the Priest Quorom adviser in the Young Men's and I've been moved from the Sunbeams to the CTR 6/7 (they're combined in our ward because we have a pretty small primary), where I team teach with a lady named Sister Olson. Jayson is very excited because he basically gets to go hang out and have fun, while advising of course, with the young men in our ward each week for the activity. For his first acitivity they played volleyball and went to a buffet. Needless to say, he was in heaven. He's also really excited to teach them on Sunday. I am going to miss my sunbeams terribly because I was already so attached to them! However, I'm really excited for my new class. My first time with them was last Sunday and they're so smart and fun. Plus, a couple of them are getting baptized this year, so I'm excited to help them get ready for that and to go and see it as well!
I really love living here. It was hard at first and I got really really homesick for Logan when the semester first started. I was even kind of mad and I didn't really understand why I needed to move away from Logan where most of my friends are the last semester of my undergraduate career. Thankfully, I'm really starting to feel like I belong here now. I just keep realizing new things everyday about why I'm suppose to be here. I thought at first that maybe some of the people I know that live here needed me more than the people in Logan. I think that is true, but I've also realized that this move was for me too. I need people who are here. For so many reasons I just need to be here. It's nice to finally feel at home.
Don't worry though Logan folk, just because I feel at home here, doesn't make me miss you any less!!

Thinking Outside Our Own Box of Answers....

I came across this quote today and I wanted to share it with everyone. I found it very wise and inspiring:

"How often do we not do more because we pray for wind and none comes? We pray for good things and they don't seem to happen, so we sit and wait and do no more. We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impressions to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of. " -Elder Groberg of the Seventy.

I've re-discovered the incredible power of pondering as of late. Even if you're busy, I highly recommend pondering, at least for a few minutes, how you can apply this quote. (Infact, take time to ponder each day, it's AMAZING what you can figure out. Then write it down of course. I once heard that the pen is the attenna to heaven.)

So, I will leave you now, with your thoughts.

New Discoveries and My "Official Statement"

I have made three very important discoveries as of late.
Number one:
I have discovered the Avatar TV series from Nickelodeon. I don't know how I've never seen this before. I used to be an avid Nickelodeon watcher. This all started with my nephews. They got a hold of it somehow and loved it. Their mom (Jayson's oldest sister) loved it. Two of his other sister watched it while babysitting the newphews. They loved. Jayson's brother loved it. So, Jayson decided to see what this was all about and checked some episodes out on youtube. He loved it. He went to the library to check out the first disc of the series. Now, I've never been a huge anime fan, but I decided to watch it with him just to humor him. I loved it. I'm addicted, which is part of the reason I'm so ridiculously behind on my homework. If you haven't seen this, I urge you to do so. I would most definatley be a water bender.

Number two:
Bob Marley. I've heard him before, but today while doing research (yes, today I chose homework instead of Avatar, good job Karissa.) he came on my Jack Johnson station on Pandora. I just love the way his music just takes me to relaxing on the beach. Thank you for the much needed vacation, Mr. Marley.

Number three:
This one is actually serious. Prepare yourself, this might take a long time to explain.
Graduation is drawing near for me, and just like everyone else, some of you may be wondering what I plan to do with my life after I graduate. Well, I will tell you.

First off, you have to ask the right question. If you ask," Karissa, what are you going to do after you graduate?"
I generally reply with a great conversational damper like, "I don't know."
Am I going try to miraculously find a job that you can do in my field that only requires a bachelor's degree? Maybe. Am I going to have babies? Maybe. Am I going to stay at the job I have and pick up more hours? Maybe. Will I splurge on a trip to Disneyland? Maybe.
Your guess is as good as mine.

Now if you ask me, "Karissa, what are you going to do with your education after you graduate?"
You'd probably be sitting with me while I anwered you for an hour saying something like this:

A couple of Sundays ago Jayson and I were sitting at our table eating lunch and talking about how we just discovered that one of our sunbeams and his brother were adopted. We figured he must have been adopted later in life than in infancy because his baby brother was adopted along with him. Being the psychology major and family consumer and human development (FCHD) minor that I am, I started to think about the attachment theory developed by a man named John Bowlby. This theory is a pretty big deal. It's talked about in every FCHD class I've ever taken and in a couple of my psychology classes. Every time it's brought up ever instructor emphasizes it and its importance. Last semester my Child Guidance professor said roughly these words, "If you take nothing else from this class to helping you in parenting, be SURE to develop this attachment with your baby."
In essence, this theory is about the attachment that an infant makes to their primary caregiver in the first year of life. If a secure attachment is not developed, it can lead to a number of emotional and social development problems. Many researchers are beginning to say that these problems can last throughout a life and can be difficult to correct. A secure attachment is developed through sensitiveness and responsiveness. So, babies need love and they need to know that if they cry and need something that someone will get it for them. Just think of not being able to do anything for yourself. How would you feel if you cried out and no one seemed to ever hear? You couldn't get what you needed, and there is no other way to get it but for someone to respond to you. Or, what if someone only responds half of the time? Resentment towards others? Learned helplessness? I think so. It only makes sense that these feeling could easily turn into emotional and social developmental problems.
So, (back to the table with Jayson and me) I got to wondering, did our little sunbeam develop that secure attachment? He is the hardest of the children to handle and doesn't cooperate as the others do. He seems to just want to lead, but doesn't have a great realization of how his actions affect others. Or, maybe that's just his personality and he's too young to understand those things yet. I don't know. Perhaps I never will. Maybe it doesn't matter. What matters is that he is important to me. I want to help him anyway I can. He has so much potential, I see glimmers of it. He is attached to his adopted mother, that is pretty obvious and she had done wonders for him. That means there is so much hope for children adopted later in age. Then it came to me like a flash of light. THAT'S IT! That's what I want to study. That's what I want to do with my education.
Last semester Jayson gave me a priesthood blessing and in that blessing he said that Heavenly Father would help me to know what direction to continue to pursue with my education. All semester I listened. I wondered. I loved my child guidance class, but nothing solid seemed to come. I knew from that class more than ever that I want to be a mother. That is my main goal. That class verified it. I've had so many spiritual experiences with this notion that I cannot doubt it. I feel that it is a huge part of why I'm here on this earth. I also had random moment where I'd picture myself instructing people. Weird. I had never really thought about teaching before. I've also thought very seriously about working with adoption somehow. Then, at that very moment, at the table with Jayson it all came together. Foster care. Adoption. Teaching. Motherhood. This brought the whole meaning of line up on line, precept upon precept to light.
I want to study into attachment. I want to help find ways to aid children that don't get that attachment in the first year of their life. I want to help them to overcome the challenges that come with that. I also want to educate. I want to educate parents who plan to adopt and/or become foster parents on how they can best help their children to form such an attachment or to help them to develop normally if they already didn't get the chance. I also want to educate the general public on parenting, attachment being one of the many things I'd like to teach. Don't you see how they all come together? Notice how they all come back to one thing: motherhood. I want to be one. I want to do anything I can to help mothers around the world.
I am also considering being a foster parent myself. I still haven't assessed whether or not I'd be up to such a challenging situation. I have thought about adopting children nearly all of my life. It all comes together.
Now you probably see why it took me four years to figure that one out.

How and when am I going to do that? That is the part I still haven't figured out yet. I will most likely go to grad school. When I don't know. I only know two things for sure: 1. Having children is my top priority right now. I do not know if I could have babies and go to grad school at the same time. I have a hard enough time getting everything done right now as it is. 2. Grad school would be a bad life choice right now anyway. I need a serious break from school. I said before, I love learning, but I am still incredibly burnt out.

And that is my official "What I'm doing after I graduate" statment.

For those of you who made it through that,
Thanks.