Double Digits

This is my offical announcement....

The days until I graduate have officially reached the double digits. That's right my friends. Ninety-nine days.



I am incredibly excited, incase you couldn't tell!

I know I've expressed to experiencing utter and complete burnout from school as of late, but I want you to know that this is not the only reason that I am excited. While I have had burnout, the past few weeks I have realized what my four years of advanced education has done for me and I finally figured out what I want to do with it (an entirely seperate post will come on this soon. Stay tuned.)



I don't want anyone to think that I hate school. That is not the case at all. In fact, I love school. I hunger for learning. It is the fact that it takes over so much of my life that I don't like. I don't like to be hurried my education. When going to school full time I often found myself upset that I couldn't spend as much time reading, doing assignments, doing projects, etc as I'd like. I always had to be in a hurry to get things done by the deadline.
I am currently reading a book called Zen and the Art of Motercycle Maintenanc for one of my classes this semester. It's a philosphy book, that strangely enough, talks a lot about the scientific method. In it I came across one of the most profound things I've ever read. It said, "I don't want to hurry it. That itself is a poisenous twentieth-century attitude. When you want to hurry something, that means you no longer care about it and want to get on to other things." This probably doesn't seem that profound to you and I'm sure millions of people have read over that liine without giving it a spec of attention. However, for me, that line made everything that is wrong in my life make sense. Any time I've ever hurried something I've ruined it. The moment I decided that I was "so done" with school is the moment I ruined it for myself. I wanted it to hurry and get over. I did the same thing with my engagment. I just wanted it over, so I didn't take the time to enjoy it. I am always so eager to jump into the next stage of life that I often miss out on enjoying myself in the state that I'm in. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy life. I love my life. I just realized that I often don't enjoy the stages I'm in. I regret that now. This quote has given me the opportunity to enjoy life more fully. I believe that everything profound helps us to do that; helps us to fix the things we are doing wrong to enjoy life.
Also, I am excited to be able to learn and get my knowledge on my own time. The only problem with this method is that there's no one forcing you do to it, and sometimes I need that. I needed to go through school to realize just how much I love learning and how I want to continue doing it for the rest of my life. Now that I have gone through school I feel that I am more likely to seek knowledge on my own.

Last, but not least, I feel accomplished. While I regret my rushing, I don't regret my education as a whole. It has been a marvelous experience and has taken my mind to depths that I didn't know it had. It has really opened my eyes to how hard people in the field of psychology work and the amazing things that they can do with such a degree. Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I realize that I am going to be a college graduate. That is a giant leap, probably the second biggest one I've ever made, with the first being getting married. Suddenly I can see that it has all been worthwhile. I truly feel like I did something that really meant something.

I am going to be a college graduate. It's so very surreal and breathtaking.