I Stand for Motherhood, America, and Hot Lunch for Orphans...

But, right now I want to talk about motherhood.


So, at church I teach the young women. The Beehives specifically. And I love it with all my heart.


Today the lesson was about homemaking, but mostly I talked about motherhood, because that's what I felt like I ought to do. I kept preparing other things, but the same feeling kept coming; a feeling that said, "No, Karissa. You should talk about motherhood." So, that's what I did.


So, in essence, I've been thinking a lot about motherhood today.




In high school my friends and I used to send around those email questionaires that have all sorts of questions on them that your friends are suppose to answer about you and then send them back so you can see their answers. You know the ones. They'd ask things like "What is my favorite color?" or "What kind of ice cream would I be and why?"  I can truthfully say that I don't remember a single answer to any of those questions answered by any of my friends.


Except one.


The question was a simple one. It was, "What will I be when I grow up." My friend answered, "A Mommy!!" I thought it was a good answer. It wasn't one I would have ever thought to put down myself because I always thought of that question as being answered by some sort of career goal, but I thought it was a good answer because ever since I can remember I have wanted to have kids someday.


The thing that struck me though wasn't really the answer, though it was different than how I would have answered the question. It was what my friend sitting next to me, who was also reading the questionaire with me said. She said something along the lines of, "A mommy?! Why would he say that?! You could be SO much MORE."


I really couldn't put my finger on why, but that statement bothered me. I'm definately a firm believer in getting an education in any way you can and having career goals. Thinking back I know exactly what bothered me. It was that last sentence, "You could be so much more." It was like having kids was sort of just a side note in life. Something everyone did, but not nearly as important as other things. An afterthought.  It was the first experience that I can recall where I experienced the downplaying of the role of motherhood first hand and it obviously left quite an effect on me, seeing as I still remember it.


If I'm being completely honest I can't say that I'm one of those girls that has dreamt about being a mother since she was little and has always looked forward to it (not that it's a bad thing if you were like that, because it's totally not). I have always known I wanted to have kids, but beyond that I really didn't think much of it growing up. Truth be told I was actually sort of afraid of children growing up and all through high school and into college. I was hardly ever around them so I didn't know how to act around them and I didn't really understand them at all.


And then I got married. More specifically, I got married to Jayson, who happens to be one of those people that has dreamt about being a parent and had been looking forward to it for years and years. I also got exposed to more children because the Kim family is booming with little kiddos. I began to see the joy that they bring and everything changed. A few months into marriage and I discovered that all I wanted was to be a mom. I suppose you could say I got baby hungry, but honestly it was so much more than that. It was this crazy and magnificent change that came over me and I just knew it was my calling in life. It's what I wanted to devote my entire heart and soul to. I understood its importance and the role of happiness it brings. I finally understood that it really is one of the most important things I can do while on this earth.


Even after this change came over me I found that it was hard to admit that this is what I wanted. When I graduated from Utah State people would ask me what my plans were now that I had graduated. I would usually tell them random things I'd thought about doing with my degree. I'd tell them I'm planning on going back to school one day, but I was taking a break for now. Sometimes I would tell people I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to go to grad school in, so I need to figure that out first. All of those things are true, but the real truth was that I was taking a break because I wanted to start a family. I do have intentions of returning to school (more than taking one class at a time), but I have no intention of doing that any time soon, nor did I when I first graduated. I want to be able to give my future children my full attention, love, and devotion. That's what I want to do with my degree. I want to raise children. Maybe one day I'll have a career, but my primary goal is to be a mother. Not that being a working mom is bad, because I totally understand that some need to do it and they shouldn't feel bad about that. It's just that for me personally, if I can help it, I want to stay home with my kids. I want to give them my everything.


Why has it always been so hard for me to say that?


I guess it's because, as I learned so many years ago in high school, motherhood is not always thought of as an awesome thing. It's looked down on a lot and mothers are not given the credit they deserve. How many times have you heard someone tell another that she stays home with her kids and the reply they get is something like, "Oh, is that all?"


I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm taking a stand and that stand is for motherhood. I believe it's the most divine roll a woman can have. I know that not everyone will be mothers in this life, but motherhood is more than having children. Let me illustrate this point and every point I've ever wanted to make about motherhood with an excerpt from a talk called Are We Not All Mothers? by Sheri L Dew. I have bolded all of my favorite parts. I know this post is getting kind of lengthy, but I promise this will be worth it.


"Loving and leading—these words summarize not only the all-consuming work of the Father and the Son, but the essence of our labor, for our work is to help the Lord with His work. How, then, may we as Latter-day women of God best help the Lord with His work?

Prophets have repeatedly answered this question, as did the First Presidency six decades ago when they called motherhood “the highest, holiest service … assumed by mankind.”¹

Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. This issue has driven me to my knees, to the scriptures, and to the temple—all of which teach an ennobling doctrine regarding our most crucial role as women. It is a doctrine about which we must be clear if we hope to stand “steadfast and immovable”² regarding the issues that swirl around our gender. For Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.

When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role. While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”³—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality,⁴ righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood.⁵ Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us.

President Gordon B. Hinckley stated that “God planted within women something divine.”⁶ That something is the gift and the gifts of motherhood. Elder Matthew Cowley taught that “men have to have something given to them [in mortality] to make them saviors of men, but not mothers, not women. [They] are born with an inherent right, an inherent authority, to be the saviors of human souls … and the regenerating force in the lives of God’s children.”⁷

Motherhood is not what was left over after our Father blessed His sons with priesthood ordination. It was the most ennobling endowment He could give His daughters, a sacred trust that gave women an unparalleled role in helping His children keep their second estate. As President J. Reuben Clark Jr. declared, motherhood is “as divinely called, as eternally important in its place as the Priesthood itself.”⁸"




Yea. That's the most beautiful talk I've ever read on motherhood. It sums up everything I feel about it. It's actually what inspired this entire blog post. It actually made me understand my feelings on motherhood. It puts into words what I've never been able to; that motherhood is in my being. It's my identity. It's built into me. It's my divine nature. That's what I discovered when that mysterious change came over me when I first got married. It had always been there, but being around children unlocked it and I've clung to it and loved it ever since.

I Stand for Motherhood.

And next time someone asks me why I'm not pursuing my career I'm going to tell them it's because my Plan A is to be a mom.