On Being Brave, Sorting Things, Comparing Books, and Other Musings

Bravery. Courage.

They seem to be very common themes in my life as of late.

Do you ever have that? Where some sort of theme keeps cropping up everywhere in life? And everything around you seems to be pointing to that theme? And you just keep learning about it? Or, maybe it's just that you keep noticing it.

Lately, for me, that theme is about being brave.

I think it all started with Sara Bareilles's song Brave. My favorite line,
"Since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty..."

For some reason those words reached deep inside of me.

And then, of course there was my re-reading of Harry Potter, where there is, of course, so much bravery.

Since my last post, I've been asking people to share their favorite books with me, or to recommend books to me that they think I'd like. Cameo, one of my dearest friends said this, "Kriss: The Fault in Our Stars (super sad, but reallllllly beautiful), Anna and the French Kiss (delightful, and super easy read with a dude that has a british accent), and Divergent (series, and the people get sorta sorted, which I know you like)."

And it was one of those moments when you realize just how well your friends know you. I mean, obviously I know that Cam knows me well. But, I do love a good sorting or categorization, but I don't think I even realized it until that moment. I mean, most of my favorite stories have them. Harry Potter has the Hogwarts houses. Avatar: The Last Airbender has the different nations with the different elements that they bend. And that sort of thing. Whenever I read/watch these sort of stories there's always a great need and desire in me to sort everyone I know into the categories.

Jayson and I like to listen to audio books when we go on long drives. He picked this time and he chose Divergent. I didn't even tell him that Cameo had recommended it to me. I didn't mention it at all, in fact. So, it seems that it was meant to be.

In Divergent there are five categories, or factions to which people are sorted into,
Dauntless, for the brave
Abnegation, for the selfless
Amity, for the kind and peace makers
Candor, for the honest
and Erudite, for the smart.

And, just as Gryffindor is the house that's most focused on in Harry Potter, Dauntless is the one you probably learn most about in Divergent. So, bravery enters my life once again.

Bravery is one of those characteristics that I've always admired, but I've never really thought of myself as brave or ever really becoming brave. I've never pegged myself as a Gryffindor and while listening to Divergent I kept thinking that there's no way I could ever be dauntless. Ever.

Lately though, I've been wondering if sorting people and labeling them in these categories is the wisest. I keep thinking about how in Harry Potter the Sorting hat wonders the same thing. In the fifth book he sings this as part of his song:

And never since the founders four
Were whittled down to three
Have the Houses been united
And they once were meant to be.
And now the Sorting Hat is here
And you all know the score:
I sort you into Houses
Because that is what I'm for,
But this year I'll go further,
Listen closely to my song:
Though condemned I am to split you
Still I worry that it's wrong,
Though I must fulfill my duty
And must quarter every year
Still I wonder whether sorting
May not bring the end I fear.
Oh, know the perils, read the signs,
The warning history shows,
For our Hogwarts is in danger
From external, deadly foes
And we must unite inside her
Or we'll crumble from within
I have told you, I have warned you..
Let the sorting now begin

And in the seventh book, when Harry is seeing Snape's memory where Snape is talking to Dumbledore about the dark mark getting darker on his arm and how Karkaroff intends to flee if it burns. Dumbledore asks,
"Are you tempted to join him?"
"No," said Snape, his black eyes on Fleur's and Roger's retreating figures. "I am not such a coward."
"No," agreed Dumbledore. "you are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we sort too soon..."

And, I, like so many others I'm sure, have often wondered why Hermione wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw. I think one of the best explanations of this is when J.K. Rowling talks about why she thinks Hermione would have gone back to finish her last year at Hogwarts:

“She would definitely, definitely go back. And she would want to graduate, and I think that she was- I mean, I love Hermione. She went with Ron and Harry because she has a really good heart. That’s not about brain. Ultimately, she had a bigger heart than she had a brain and that’s saying something for Hermione. But did she- Was she naturally drawn to battle? No, she wasn’t. She’s not a Bellatrix. She’s not a woman who actually wants to be hurting, fighting, killing. Not at all. She would be glad to go back to school, be glad to get back to study, and then would join [Harry and Ron] at the Ministry.”

She was sorted into Gryffindor because her heart was bigger than her brain. Because when it came right down to it, even though she was brilliant, she would be brave, in that she would always do exactly what she felt was right, even if it wasn't the smartest or safest thing to do.

I have always figured that I am a Hufflepuff. I'm smart enough, but not particularly brilliant. I'm not powerful or power hungry. And, well I already told you that I haven't thought of myself as brave very often. I'm not . I mean, honestly, I'm a chicken. Over the past little while I've even been thinking that whatever bravery I used to have in me has seemed to disappear. I'm no thrill seeker and I don't usually do things just for the sake of overcoming my fears.Actually, I'm often satisfied completely with not overcoming them. I tried to explain this to Jayson when he kept insisting that I go on the really steep slide at Seven Peaks. Really, I have no desire to overcome that fear.

 But, I am loyal. And I like to think I'm pretty accepting of others.

So, I've often just thought that I'm just not brave and that's that.

But, here's the thing. Just because you are loyal doesn't mean you can't be brave or smart or powerful.
In the final Battle of Hogwarts when Voldemort asks that the people of Hogwarts surrender Harry it is the Gryffindors that stand up first to protect him, but then it's the Hufflepuffs that stand second. And when the houses are being led out and they are told that those of age can stay and fight all of the Slytherins leave, a number of Ravenclaw's stayed behind, and even more Hufflepuffs stayed, along with half of the Gryffindors.

So, you see, sometimes Hufflepuffs are brave. I think it is the fact that they are loyal, patient, true, and unafraid of toil that makes them brave at times like that.

And Snape was so brave. He was a Slytherin. Luna was also brave, and she was a Ravenclaw.

I mean, am I going to stop sorting people into what type of bender they are, what house they belong in or what faction they would choose in my head? Probably not. Because it's pretty fun. but I always want to keep in mind that people are more than one characteristic and labeling them with one doesn't change that.

In Divergent, one of the characters who is in the dauntless faction talks about how he doesn't just want to be fearless. He says that he also wants to be selfless, smart, honest, and kind.

In Avatar: the Last Airbender you are born with certain bending element abilities and you can't learn to bend another element, unless you are the Avatar of course. But, you can learn from them. Iroh, a firebender, studies the way other benders are to perfect his own firebending. In the end you learn that all of the elements are meant to give balance and harmony, not to divide.

So, maybe the sorting hat is right. And maybe Four is right. Maybe sometimes sorting can divide us. And, even more than that, I think that sometimes it makes us believe that if we have one of these characteristics we can't have another. I think that sometimes our best and strongest characteristics are the ones we strive to develop, rather than the ones that we are born with. Maybe being categorized like this makes us focus too much on developing the one attribute that we are branded with and we don't try to develop the others enough. I think there is power in being well-rounded.

 In Divergent one of my favorite characters says this,

 “I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different.”And, later another character says this: “...there is power in self-sacrifice.” 

I also have a theory that comes from these theories. My theory is that all of these attributes aren't all that different or divided. And they don't have to divide us. Like the elements, all characteristics within us and all characteristics that aren't in us, but that are in other people are meant to unite us. There is power in being brave. There is bravery in being selfless. It also takes loyalty to be brave. There is also power in having a brilliant mind. Having a brilliant mind can often give you the power and the means you need to be brave. Having wit about you can give you purpose in your bravery. It often takes bravery to be honest. The desire for eventual peace can drive us to be brave.

And, lately I've made a very important discovery: There is little difference, if any, to faith and bravery.

I have found a lot that having faith is a lot harder than I ever thought it was. I've faultered so much. I've doubted more than I ever thought I could. But, in the end, my faith grows and I let go of doubt for faith. And if there has ever been a time when I have had to be brave it was in having faith.

I need to have Faith in God's plan for me. I need to be brave.

I think bravery often means something different than we think it does. Or, rather, that there are a lot of different kinds of bravery. At least, for me,  I'm scared of a lot things. I worry a lot. But, that doesn't mean I can't be brave. I don't have to jump out of planes to be brave. Some of my favorite quotes in Divergent illustrate this beautifully:

"We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.”

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.”

I think the kind of bravery I have, or at least that I try to have, is like that. It's not generally visable to others, but it's inside of me. It's almost never extraordinary, but in ordinary every day things. My first instinct is not usually to be brave, but I'm beginning to discover that I am brave and that I always have been. If I believe in something strongly enough or if I want something badly enough I will be brave. I like to think that maybe I'm a little like Hermione in that I will be brave when it really counts. I'm beginning to see that sometimes, even though I'm a Hufflepuff, I have a little bit of Gryffindor in me. And even though while I was reading Divergent I couldn't detect an ounce of dauntless in myself I know it's there. It's there even more than I ever knew. It's something I've developed over time, yes. But, also, I think it's something that is in my nature. Something that was always there, but that I just had to find and discover. And, more than anything, I had to want to be brave.

And I do. I want to be brave. And I want to be smart, powerful, kind, peaceful, loyal, honest, and self-less.

And just because I'm one doesn't mean I can't be another. And just because some of those characteristics are weaker than others for me doesn't mean that they'll always be that way. I can develop them. Or, maybe they're already inside of me and I just have to figure out a way to get them out.

I am not Hufflepuff. I am not Gryffindor. I am not Amity. I am not Dauntless.

I am me. I am brave. And so many other things.

And so are you.