Thoroughly Modern Sarah

I like dedicating posts to people.

Especially really awesome people, who have touched my life tremendously.

This post has been a long time coming.


Do you see that girl in the picture next to me? That is Sarah. She is one of my dearest and closest friends.


I meant to write a post about her months and months ago because in May she had this handsome little guy:

His name is Adam. He is the first baby in that Sisterhood of mine that I talk so much about.

I write this post because these two gems, along with Jeff (husband and father..he's a gem too), moved to California back in September, and I miss them.

But, I am getting ahead of myself.

Fact: Sarah likes musicals.

It's a mighty good thing she does. If it weren't for this particular trait, we may have never become friends.

It all started with the high school musical. Not THE high school musical, but the Jordan high school musical. Anyway, her and one of my other closest of friends began to be friends because they were in our high school's musical together. From being in said musical Sarah, Vienna, Suzanne, and Melissa began to hang out quite a bit, and started to get really close. (At least, I think this is how it all happened. Since this was before my time in the Sisterhood, the details can bet a little fuzzy) Since Vienna thought I was pretty cool too, she invited me along every now and then. So, thus, Sarah and I became friends.

But this is really where the deal was sealed:

Oh, yes indeed. Jordan High School Choir Tour, 2006. I know what you're thinking, choir tour has nothing to do with musicals. FALSE. This one had everything to do with musicals. Sarah had brought with her a CD. This CD just happened to be Thoroughly Modern Millie, the musical. Since we had been hanging out a lot, thanks to Vienna, I ended up sitting next to Sarah on the bus after one of the stops. She popped out her walkman (yup, that's right folks. Walkman) and, luckily, she had the headphones that go in your ears and not the headband type. So, she let me listen with her. I fell in love with that musical and it became the bonding power of our friendship. I always say that you don't really know me until you really know me, and somehow Thoroughly Modern Millie gave Sarah the power to really know me. Then, I bought a pink flamingo stuffed animal at the San Diego Zoo. I named him Flemmy and made him dance. From then on, there was no going back. We had offically become the best of friends.

Then, Freshman year of college, we became roommates. Well, apartment mates.


Ok, you caught me. That wasn't really our apartment.

I can't think of a way to make the rest of what I want to say fit into a story, so I'm going make a bullet list. I'll call it The Sarah and I. Because it's funny. Because it relates to a musical.

• We had an early class at the same time and on the same end of campus freshman year, so we'd walk together there every day, singing Shakira.
• Sarah and Sarah alone knows the funniest things I've ever said. I often say things under my breath, and she's the only one that hears them.
• Once I was going through a rough time and she made me a CD full of the most cheerful songs. The made a huge difference on my mood and gave me strength to carry on.
• On another occasion I had an incredibly hard day, probably the harest I've ever had, and she called me. She just knew I needed a friend. She had no idea of what that day had brought to me, but she felt like she needed to call me, so she did, and it meant the world to me.
• We almost always look spectacular in pictures together. Except when Adam gets involved.
• When she was engaged she'd buy Dr. Pepper all of the time. She was so busy that she'd leave them on the table and I'd drink them. That's what friends are for. You can't let another friend's Dr. Pepper go to waste and get all flat.
• Together we learned that TIME REVEALS ALL.

I could go on and on. The point is that I just plain love Sarah and I already miss her oodles.

The Secret Key

Isn't it funny how we are taught certain principles when we are younger, but no matter how many times someone tells you something it just doesn't click until you really learn it for yourself?
I have had one of these moments in the past little while with a small and simple truth:
GRATITUDE.

This all began with the genetic translocation that I have you..you know, the one that is most likely going to make it very hard for me to have children. This has been a really big deal for me, especially since I have been married and having children has become an option. It is my greatest and deepest desire. I am sure you know, it is not easy to feel like you can't have you most desire and there's nothing that you can do about it. In fact, facing this trial may be the hardest thing I have ever done.

I have also been down the past month or so about not having some really awesome job with my college degree. I have a job that doesn't even require a degree, let alone the one that I have. This didn't bother me at first, but when I saw some of the amazing things that my friends are doing now that they are graduated I started feeling like I have a pretty lame life.

This all comes down to one thing: INGRATITUDE.

The other day the receptionist at my work posted something on our inter-company website. She said that when she was going through a divorce she told her sister that she felt like everyone around her was happily in love, that everyone else had what she wanted. Her sister turned to her and told her that if she had no children then all she would do is look at the happy couples with their children.
This really hit home. How often do I sit during Sacrament meeting and just stare longingly and jealously at the families with their little children on the benches? How often do I think to myself that it's unfair that everyone gets what I want except me. I realized as soon as I read what the receptionist's sister had said I knew what I needed to do. I need to be focusing on what I HAVE instead of dwelling on what I WANT, but do not have.

This beautiful revolution came more into view when I watched General Conference and our dear Prophet, President Monson gave his talk about gratitude.

So, the past few days I have been really trying to focus on being grateful for what I have. I have really tried to see how blessed I am....and do you know what? I am SO happy. The past few days have been a slice of heaven. It's not the kind of happy you get when you get your dream job, it's the kind that is a great joyful peace that fills your entire being. I feel AMAZING. I haven't been this happy in a really long time....maybe ever. I don't want to give the impression that I wasn't happy before...this is untrue. I had been in a bit of a slump for a month or so, but even then I wasn't incredibly sad. For the most part I was loving life and I was a happy person. I am just even more happy right now. I just feel like everything is right. Nothing has changed except I decided to focus on things that I am thankful for. I just know with my whole soul that everything has a time and a place and everything that is suppose to be happening right now are happening and the ones that aren't happening shouldn't be right now. For the first time, in over a year, when I think of the fact that I do not have a child right now I do not get sad. Not even one little bit. Do I still want children? Oh yes, just as much as before. I just know that it's so key that they come at the right time and I am not sad or resentful that the right time is not now. I know that whenever they come will be the right time and I am grateful for that peace and knowledge. I am utterly and completely happy. I feel so whole and new.

I am so blessed and I can't believe that I'm just now realizing exactly how blessed I am.
I have an amazing husband who helps me get through tough times, who laughs with me, who loves me, and who treats me as an equal. I have great family members that love me dearly. I have the most amazing parents. Did you know that when I got married in the temple and they were not able to come in to see me get sealed they did not utter one word of complaint? Not ONE. They just loved and supported me. Both sets of my parents and my in laws let us use their washer and drier and feed us all of the time. I have never ever heard them complain about that either. I have never missed a meal because I didn't have enough food or money to buy food with. Not once. I have always had a roof over my head.
I remember a girl I knew a year or so back; she couldn't pay her rent. If she lost her apartment, she would have nowhere to go. I have never had to feel like that. If I couldn't afford to live and I was putting forth my best efforts I could name a handful of places that I could go. A WHOLE handful. I have the most caring friends in the world. I am part of a wonderful church that teaches me beautiful truths like Gratitude.

I heard a woman by the name of Gianna Jessen once say that suffereing can be beautiful. I love that phrase. I think all to often we forget to see the beauty in suffereing. I have never learned more precious truths than I have when I am in a time of trial and suffering.

I am here to tell you that those simple lessons on gratitude they've been trying to teach us for years are TRUE.

Gratitude is the secret of life,
the key to happiness.

Having a Laugh

I'm coming to find more and more that some of my very favorite moments in the whole entire world look like this:

We both think that the other is WAY funny. We are constantly laughing at eachother.

Sometimes the best days are when we are just hanging around the apartment and laughing hysterically together.

These moments make everything else that is crazy and stresses me out in life worth living; The fact that I can come home to that guy up there in the pictures and laugh.

I love that guy.

I am in Love With a Boy, Manufactured to Destroy

When Jayson and I got married Jayson's career goal was to be a high school Physics and Chemistry teacher. Along with that were things like real estate and owning his own business, so that he could make more money to support a family.

Then, last December he decided to change his major to Computer Engineering. I thought for sure this was the best switch for him. He was loving his classes and it was the kind of stuff that he would study in his free time anyway.

He's just had hard time figuring out exactly what he wants to do. The problem was always the same. Jayson wants to do it ALL. He's interested in EVERYTHING. While this is not condusive for choosing a major or planning out our live (but seriously...how well does planning out life go anyway?), this has always been one of my favorite things about him. He is so curious and fascinated by EVERYTHING. This is a constant reminder to me of how valuable learning and knowledge is.

Well, good news. He's figured it out.

This summer Jayson started working for the company my dad works for doing some interior construction. Then in the middle of July he started working for his dad, who owns a demolition and a concrete crushing business. Then, out of the blue, or so it seemed ot me at the time, he decided that he would be happier not having a desk job. So, naturally, that whole computer engineering thing kind of went out the window. He decided that he really loves to work with his hands. After talking to him more about it I came to realize that this was not out of the blue. This idea had been stewing in his head for weeks. Of course, he knew he was really loving it over the summer, but his biggest worry was whether or not he'd love it in the years to come...

So, after much thought, information gathering, taking with his dad, and of course prayer Jayson decided that he's going to go into the family business!!!!

So, does this mean the Kims are done with school?

It sure does. Done. Finished. Flown the Coop. We are out of there.
For now anyway.

I know, I know, you're probably thinking..."WHAT?!! THAT'S CRAZY!"

But, hear me out.

This makes sense for us. We are now going to have a higher and steadier income. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not totally opposed and much to good for the the poor college life. The poor college life is all fine and dandy, and we really didn't mind it. However, as you may have gathered from a previous post, my eggs are more than likely not going to be very good at forming babies. I have the same genetic translocation as my mom, and it took her FIVE years of trying to have me. Since we'd like to have more than two children and I'd really like to be done having children by the time I'm about 35, the odds are already not in ourfavor. Therefore, we feel a push to not put off trying to have children and word on the street is, they're not cheap. We have also thought a lot about adoption. LDS family services allows you to start the adoption process after two years of marriage, which is quickly approaching for us. We have spent hours, days, even weeks of planning and trying to figure out how we'd ever be able to afford it and how we could get established sooner so that we could have that option. We figured that no one in their right mind would allow us to adopt their baby with the income we had...at least I know I wouldn't. Computer Engineering was looking grim. It was going to still take him AT LEAST until fall of '13 to graduate because of prerequisites and the semesters they would be taught in and the way they were laid out. So, presto. This was a great answer to our prayers and we are SO grateful for it. Plus, it turns out that after a couple of promotions Jayson will be making just as much as a computer engineer anyway. So...more money now and later instead of just later? Yes, please.

Not only does it make the most sense for us, but it's what he wants to do. Remember how he loves learning? He's already learning mountains of things and has so much more to learn. He wants to involved in all aspects, the office, the business, the hard labor...everything. Needless to say..he is stoked. He's already started reading textbooks about different things that will help him.
Plus, most importantly of all, we feel really good about it. We have come to realize how so many little revelations have led us to this one little reveltion. Seemingly unrelated when they first happened, so many of our decisions were leading us straight to this one.

Personally, I just want him to do what make him happy. Well, ok...and I'm super glad he's made up his mind.

Life is good to us.

HAPPY MOVING WEEK!

AUTUMN.

In my mind autumn has always been paired with school starting. It seems that my life has always revolved around a school calendar. I rarely describe things by year, such as..."Oh, yes, that was in 2008!" Instead I'd say, "Oh yes, that must have been fall semester of Junior year!" I was like this even when I was little. When I was younger I actually thought that the first month of the year was September, because that's when school started. It didn't make sense to me that we would start school any month other than the first. Seasons have been the same for me. When school starts, fall begins. When it's over, it's summer. The official dates of these seasons have never really been grasped in my brain.

Today Jayson's youngest sister, Jana, moved away to go to school at SUU.
This week tons of people will be moving to where ever they go to school.

I can't help but thinking of the thousands of people flocking to USU this next week. I can't help but remember being one of those people, it brings back such fond memories.
I have always always loved the beginning of a new school year. It's always filled with so much potential and hope. It leaves me with a feeling of ambition and a fresh new start. There is nothing like it.

This is the first fall since I was 2 years old that I haven't started a new year of school. It is very strange. I am not quite sure if I'm sad about this or not.

I do know though, that what I miss the very most right now is Logan. I miss the hussle and bussle of everyone going to the next building in between classes. I miss greeting people in the TSC, I miss seeing friends that I haven't seen all summer, and....(hold your breath)...I miss class.

I know what you're thinking....Me? missing class? The girl who started her countdown to graduation the moment her last semester started? The one who was completely burnt out from school? Well, what can I say? You can take the girl out of school, but you can't take the school out of the girl. I love learning. I love class. If you take away the homework, I'd be a student for life.

I am also going to miss this:

(The best part about this picture is that I took it myself. Not only did I take it myself, but I was by myself, with no one I knew around. You wouldn't believe the looks I got...)

I LOVE Logan in the fall. It's my very favorite. Don't worry Logan, I'll be paying you a visit when your pretty leaves change...

I don't want to give off the impression that I'm this sad girl who mopes around because she isn't going to school this fall.. On the contrary, I'm quite enjoying my homework-less life. It is fabulous. It's just a really bizarre feeling to not be moving to Logan right now, to not be buying books, etc.

Above all, I am really excited for the fall. Is it just me or has it just been summer too long?! I can't explain it and I don't know if I've ever felt like this before. I thoroughly enjoyed my summer, it was really fun, but I am SOOO ready for fall. Bring on the changing leaves, but hold the snow please.

THRICE

Today, I blogged three times.

ENJOY!

Summer, All Beauty and Truth

I LOVE the summer. We've been having such a fun and busy one...hence the lack of blogging about it. Since I last wrote we've attending oodles of weddings, gone to Bear Lake, Red Butte Gardens (actually one of my favorite things we've done!), enjoyed being oustide, went to the premiere of The Last Air Bender, revisited the first two Harry Potter books (and we're working on the rest), had tons of fun times just spending time with family and friends, and we were even a Ma and Pa on the pioneer trek in our Stake!

Since that is way too much to write about right now here are some pictures for your enjoyment:

TREK- this is our family. Can we just way we loved our family, we love our ward, and now we're COMPLETELY in love with our whole stake. The people that live around us are just incredibly awesome!

Grandma and Grandpa above

The boys in our family above and to the left, our two daughters

Below: family cheer

MA AND PA!

BEAR LAKE WITH THE KIMS!

THE LAST AIRBENDER PREMIERE

As you can see, we even had met the Avatar there. This kid's costume was the best I've ever seen!

RED BUTTE GARDENS

I fell in love with this statue. It reminds me of everything good and the great of imagination of a child.

AND, 

ONCE UPON A TIME...

Jayson tried to grow a beard...

It's funny because you can't even tell from the front!