Spring (in my step)

I'm having one of those weeks.

No, not one of those weeks.

One of the ones where life just feels sooooo good.

Maybe it's all of the sunshine and BBQ food I've been eating?

We had our very first BBQ with an actual grill. Jayson was crazy-excited to be "the grill master."

BBQ's are one of my all time favorite things (Oh hot dogs! They're just delicious) and it was so much fun to be able to host one with a real grill at our very own house with these lovely people.

I seriously feel like I have the greatest support group in the whole entire world. My friends and family are just the best. I know I say it all of the time and so many others do too, but I truly mean it from the very deepest part of my heart.

Most particularly my husband. He's always my greatest cheerleader. He's always there to help out, to listen, and to laugh with me. 

Also, I feel like people are one of the biggest sources of joy. I love getting together with people, whether it's for a fun trip, a wedding, baby blessing, family dinner, lunch on Tuesday, etc. People just make the most simple events simply lovely and it's so much to share the big events with those that you love. And sharing other people's moments is just as wonderful. Few things put a bigger smile on my face than when the people I love have good news. Gah! My people are just the greatest. 

And my house. I still just love it so much. Every now and then I catch myself thinking about our second house and then I remember that means we'll have to move out of this one and it makes me want to cry. I adore my cute little house. I love that we've put so much work into it to make it our own. I think it's turned out really nicely and the we're just beginning on the back yard. Oh that back yard!!! It's such a pain sometimes, but honestly, it's one of the biggest reasons that the thought of ever moving makes me so sad. Let me tell you, we have big dreams for that big piece of land.

I love my Ruby pup. She's just the cutest. She makes my life more complete and she's the biggest sweetheart. I'm obsessed.

On Sunday I was looking through my instagrams. Oh, how I love my instagrams! I think my instagram pictures are actually a fairly accurate representation of my life. Each picture reminds me of a lovely time. They remind me that wonderful things happen on perfectly average days and how much beauty is all around me.

Yesterday was beautiful. I was rather late for work because I was enjoying being outside with Miss Ruby. We took a walk around the neighborhood, enjoyed the morning sun, and soaked in the views of spring blossoms on the trees. After work it was windy, but the air was warm and felt a little humid. It almost reminded me of being Maui and it was delightful. 

I was just telling Jayson today that I don't like when people say things like, "High school days are the best days of your life!" or "Your mission is the best two years of your life." Or, "It doesn't get better than the college years." Don't get me wrong, I think all of those things are fantastic. I didn't go on a mission, but i really liked high school in general and college was, hands down, one of my favorite times in life. But, why should we let the fact that those things were good destroy any hope for future goodness? I mean, if we put in our minds that those were the best times of our lives, is it all down hill from there? When Jayson was on his mission his mission president said, "I hope these are not the best two years of your life. I hope that you don't look back after having a family and say, 'man, my mission was the best and it was all down hill from there.'"

 I want every time in my life to be the best. I know that's not always going to be the case. I know there are going to be hard times, but there are always things to look forward to. There is always beauty. There can be celebration in each and every day if we look for it. So, I'm making a resolve right here and right now to always make each and every time of life just as good, if not better, as the last.

Because, while i loved high school and college dearly, I love right now even more. I feel like Jayson and I have really established a new family culture that is all our own. I feel more and more all of the time that we are our own little family and I LOVE that. It's been a really rich experience combining what we were taught and making our own lives/way of life. It's like we're a team now, ya know?

And tomorrow it is May. I love it when May comes.

And there are so many blossoms. I love blossoms on trees!

I've been thinking about these ones:

Oh this tree! I've got to get myself to Cache Valley to see this tree before Spring is over. I miss good 'ol Cache like you wouldn't believe.

And soon it will be time to go camping!!!

Life is just plain good.

On Growing Things

Apparently it just so happens to be Nation Infertility Awareness Week. 

I know, I know. It seems like there's an awareness week for everything these days, am I right?! But, since this one is near and dear to my heart I've decided to create some awareness, via this blog.

I know sometimes talk of infertility makes people uncomfortable, but can I just tell you that it's my favorite? I know, it's the weirdest thing. But, seriously. I will talk your ear off about it any day, any time. While it is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through it's also become a big part of me and I'm oddly in love with that part of me. Now, don't be confused. I'm definitely not in love with the fact that I'm infertile. But, I do love the person this trial has helped me become. I do love the fact that because of it I'm privileged to connect with so many wonderful, strong, amazing, and beautiful people. I'm glad that I get a little taste of what it feels like to be different from those around you and to be able to realize that different isn't always bad. It's just different. Infertility has created a fiery passion in me for womanhood, motherhood, adoption, foster care, the importance of families, and a love of children. 

Do you remember how I unknowingly wrote this post during infertility week last year? Ok, you probably didn't know that. But, man. That was one of my favorite posts to write. I could probably write a post about infertility at least every week (and I would probably enjoy it), but I figure people probably don't actually want to read my posts about it that much.

But, I am going to take advantage of this week and post one. Because I want to.

So, anyway. Growing things.

In my Sophomore year at Utah State I took an introduction to horticulture class. During that class we actually got to have some hands on experience in the green house on campus. We got to learn how to take a part of certain plants (besides the seed), plant them, and create a new plant. This was really cool and I was so proud of my little plants. There was one in particular that is called a Goldfish Plant, and it was my favorite. I tried so hard to get that little thing to grow. My roommates may recall the plant living on top of our TV and being tipped over a time or two. I also watered it too much and it got all moldy and gross. So, accepting failure, and the fact that this plant needed the care of someone else, I did what anyone else would do to get something well taken care of; I brought it home to my Mom.

So, naturally, I figured I couldn't grow things. It just wasn't my thing.

With my mom "Goldy" (I'm so clever) thrived. She grew and grew and grew. But, to our dismay she would never grow her pretty orange blossoms that look like goldfish.

After Jayson and I got married and moved back to Salt Lake we decided to take Goldy back and see how things went. Things kind of took a turn for the worst for Goldy after that, but I decided to do some research and I found out these plants like humidity, so we put her in the bathroom and brought her back to life. She liked it there and grew and grew. But, alas, still no goldfish blossoms.

I tried growing a couple other flowers in our Salt Lake apartment, each time ending in the death of the plant.

Our Salt Lake apartment was also sort of the beginning of our road to infertility. We actually moved in the very weekend that I miscarried back in December of '09. I was in a lot of emotional pain at the time, but I had no idea as to the long journey that lay ahead of me. I didn't know at the time that I wasn't going to be able to get pregnant after that. So, as you can imagine, over the course of the year and a half of living there I began to feel pretty broken, as not only could I not grow plants, but I also could not grow a baby.

I kind of think that we have within us an innate desire to care for things and to help them grow. We need to feel needed. We need to be relied upon in order for us to grow to our full potential.

After four years of having my little goldfish plant we moved into our cute little house. I decided to put him in the kitchen on the shelves by the window. Not too long after we moved in and to my great delight and surprise our goldfish plant finally grew those goldfish blossoms.

And in that a great and new hope was created inside of me. A hope to be able to grow things.

I currently have about ten plants growing in my kitchen and living room, most of which are thriving. I also have daffodils and tulips growing in my front yard and great plans are in the making for a flower garden and a veggie/spice garden this year.

It took a while for me to figure out how to care for plants and how to make them grow, but I finally figured it out. And do you know what? It was worth it. I just adore all my plants and watching them grow brings me great joy.

And I know it will be the same with my future children. I know I probably won't be "growing" them in the way I thought I would back in 2009 when this journey began, but I will be growing them in the sense that I will do everything in my power to help them grow to grow bigger and stronger. I will them them to grow to their full potential. I will watch over them, feed them, love them, teach them, and spend time with them. I know at times it will be hard, but I know it will be worth it. I know that they will bring me great joy as well, greater joy than I could ever imagine.

And, who knows? Maybe since growing plants is going so well we'll soon have a little baby to care for.

Lovely Times

You know what is the best?

When happy things happen to people that you love. And we've had a whole lot of that going on around these parts! (which is part of the reason that I haven't touched this blog in a month).

First off, my new little niece was born the weekend before Easter. You guys, newborns are the sweetest. There's just something about them. It's like holding an angel. Ok, that was really cheesy.
 But, seriously.

*Side note: Jayson is going to be the cutest Dad one day, am I right?

Also, the weekend before Easter my youngest Step-sister got to go to prom. I got to go take pictures before hand! Sign me up for that anytime, Foolish Face. (I call her that. She likes it. I promise.) 

She looked so beautiful. And wasn't her dress the prettiest color?!

And that same night I got to pick up one of my best friends, Cameo, from the airport for her wedding!! Somehow picking up Cam from the airport always ends up being in the middle of the night, but it's never planned that way. Such are flight delays. And it definitely wasn't the only night I was up until 2 am that week. Let's just say it was one of the craziest weeks ever because my friends and I did a whole lot of wedding business for her that week. A special shout out to Vienna who worked like mad on those lovely decorations. But, more on that later. It was so nice to spend so much time with my girls.

We threw a shower:

She got some pretty awesome pancake molds. 

Cameo really likes candy so we had a lot of candy at the shower, which mostly didn't get eaten, except for the seven ring pops that Teresa stuck in her purse.

On the right is Teresa and on the left is Vienna. Just in case you were wondering.

Cam's sister and her little boy. His face cracks me up in this photo.

While that week was crazy, the wedding turned out really great. It was honestly one of my favorite weddings of all time. It was simple, but really lovely. It was just a wonderful night all around. I'm so excited for Cameo and Andrew. They're perfect for each other.

I seriously just love these girls (and the bride, the photographer, and the one in California.) I honestly don't know what I would do without them. It was so fabulous to be able to see them all so much that week. 

Did they smash or did they do it nicely?

I didn't get a picture of it, so now you'll never know.

I have a few more weddings to go to this Summer that I'm really looking forward to! I just love being able to celebrate such a special day with people that I love.

And the next day was Easter, which I didn't really remember until it was here because the week before was so crazy. But, we did celebrate by going to church, eating a big peanut-butter filled egg with my name on it, and going to the  Easter egg hunt at my in laws, in which we won a book full of thoughts and a Jamba Juice gift card.

Naturally, there had to be a re-enactment of this picture:

2012

2013 (with a new baby girl.)

One of the eggs got caught in the exhaust...

I know, I know! They're the cutest. 

And, just in case you haven't seen enough cute kids/babies, Jayson's best friend Daniel and his wife Kathryn had their first baby. He is just a little tiny thing and so sweet. We love him already!

I got to hold the cute little guy too, but, as I am the picture taker, I often get cheated out being in pictures.

And those are our lovely times as of late.