Oh, January

I think it's probably safe to say that January is the most hated month. Am I right? This used to make me kind of sad, since it's my birth month and all. In the past I have often tried to defend it by pointing out it's good qualities, like a fresh start and a nice relaxing break from big events after the busy holiday season.

Speaking of which, I've always thought it was kind of odd that we start out the year in such a dreary, cold, and cruel month. It's like taking everyone's New Year's hope and crushing it to death, you know what I mean? And, is January actually slow for anyone? I always look forward to a little bit of relaxing during it, but I feel like it's always just as busy as any other month, so that's kind of a let down. I mean, the business of my life is directly correlated to the frequency in which I shave my legs, and let me tell you, up until a few days ago my legs were harrier than they've been in a really long time.

So, now that I've gone through 26 Januarys, I'll admit it, January can be a beast some years. Like 2008. Do you guys remember January 2008? I know some of you do. It was the worst. And January 2013. I can't lie, I've been doing some January bashing this year too, because oh my goodness it's FREEZING! And is there anything worse than leaving the house in January? Every morning I have an even harder time forcing myself out of bed than usual because I know that eventually I'll have to go outside. You know what is even worse than that? Going places after work in January.

But then today happened and we got oodles of powdery snow and it made my heart so very content. I took Ruby in the backyard and we ran around in it and such. Let me just tell you, there's nothing cuter than a dog running joyfully through the snow. It's just that simple. Especially when the snow is up to said dog's belly and she has to leap every time she takes a step. And, doesn't powdery snow just make you want to jump, run, and lay in it?! Ok, maybe it's just me. But, have you ever just sad there and laid in the snow? It's one of the most peaceful things in the world. I've been so cold over the past few weeks that I forgot about my love for snow and how beautiful it is. So, even if it is one of the last days of the month, thanks for redeeming yourself a little bit, January.

And all of this reminds me that great opportunities can come from great trials. For example, while January ha been really mean this year it definitely provides the opportunity for many good occasions for soup, snuggles, movie nights, warm cookies, etc. This year it's reminded me of how much I love my little family of Jayson,  Ruby, and me. It's reminded me that no matter what we're doing I'm just happy to spend time with them and I'm grateful beyond words to have them in my life.

The mother of one of my co-workers passed away a couple of weeks ago. She's been having a really hard time with it, as have her kids and her father. But, today I overheard her telling someone else that since her dad misses his wife and misses going on a date night with her each Friday he's decided to take his grandkids on date night; just one each Friday so that he can spend one on one time with each of then. As I overheard this I just thought about how even though this situation is horrible it has given the Grandpa a very unique and wonderful opportunity to really connect with his Grandchildren. 

Likewise, my trials have given me some really unique opportunities. When we were going through the adoption application we were required to attend some adoption classes, which were really more like panels of adopters, adoptees, birth parents, etc. The first one we attended was on infertility. For part of it we all got in groups and briefly explained our journey to adoption. It was honestly and truly one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. We were just a bunch of strangers together in a room, brought together by difficult circumstances, pouring our hearts and souls out to one another. It probably seems totally weird, but I left that night thinking that all of the pain and heartache that I had experienced was worth it to have that moment. I also don't regret for a single second that Jayson and I have been able to have four years of marriage, just the two of us. It was never in our plans, but I'm glad it happened. It has drawn us even closer, strengthened our relationship, and allowed us to have a lot of fun times and memories together. 

Also, last week was stake temple night. Jayson wasn't able to go because of work, but I went. I was excited to see friendly faces there and enjoy their company. But, of course, I was late and I missed the session. I still went to the next session, but I was really sad that I wasn't going to see any of my friends from the ward there. I was feeling very much alone that evening. But, then, after the session, I saw one of m co-workers there with his wife. We said our hi's and how-are-you's and that was it. It wasn't anything big, but for me it meant so much. It made me realize that our Heavenly Father really is mindful of us, even when all we need is something as simple as a friendly smile. Had I not been feeling lonely I would have never been able to experience such a sweet realization.

And now this post has taken a completely different course than I intended it to. I sat down with nothing in particular to write about. I was just in a writing sort of mood and had about a billion things on my mind, so I was going to do a bullet list of sorts, but then this happened. I think it turned out better. I guess I just needed to make sense of things because this January has been a hard one. I had to say goodbye to 2012 and that was strangely hard. I normally love New Year's, but 2012 holds a special place in my heart. It was the year that we made the decision to adopt, but even more than that, it was the year I found myself again. I figured out how to really and truly enjoy life, even when things aren't going exactly how I want them to. I started to feel whole again. It also left me with unfulfilled expectations, so the fact that it was gone already was kind of mind-boggling and heartbreaking. This January also provided me with the weirdest and hardest birthday to date. It's also been really busy, cold, overwhelming, depressing, and exhausting. 

So, I guess I just needed to remind myself that out of great trials come great opportunities. And there was that part of January that I was in Disneyland/California Adventures/La Jolla/Oceanside. That part was pretty wonderful. 

Good news, February is almost here, folks. We're almost through!