The Thing about Twenty-Five

...is that it's not really old at all.



But, let me tell you, in the months leading up to my 25th birthday, 25 was feeling pretty old.

I've never been one to dread getting older. I've never understood what all of the hoopla was about with people being so cranky about getting older. A lot of people felt really old and had a hard time when they turned twenty because they weren't a teenager anymore...but I was like, "woohoo! I'm twenty!"

But 25. Man. I'm out of my early twenties and when did that even happen?!

So, I think I've figured out what all of that hoopla is about. I don't think it's so much about being afraid to get older as much as it is about what a wise little girl named Bailey once said, "...really It's more that I'm afraid of time. And not having enough of it. Time to figure out who I'm supposed to be... to find my place in the world before I have to leave it." (Ten points if you know where that came from). 

Time. I think turning another year older just makes us realize that our clock is ticking and that we are running out of time. So, if we haven't accomplished all of the things that we thought we would by this point in our lives, birthdays can leave us feeling anxious. 

At least that's what it is for me. 

So, the thought of turning 25 had me in a little bit of a funk for a while. 

But then I really thought about it I realized that 25 really isn't old at all. It's probably the most prime age that there is. You're still really young, but you're old enough that you're not too young, am I right? Plus, by 25 the average person's frontal lobe is supposed to be developed, so now I have better judgement and a better long term memory to go along with that youth-ness. So, that's a plus too. 

And, really, what do I not have time to accomplish?

I just made a goal poster for this year for myself (I've decided to do this for every birthday/new year of life) and I'm pretty sure I still have plenty of time to accomplish all of the things on it. 

And, I have plenty of time to be a mom. A lot of 25 year olds don't have any kids and I don't ever think it's weird or that they're running out of time, so I don't know why I keep thinking that about myself. So, there. Don't pretend you didn't know that was what I was talking about. 

Besides, birthdays aren't for being sad, anxious, or regretful anyway. 

Birthdays are for Dreaming, so says this card that my friend Melissa gave me. Isn't that the prettiest card you've ever seen? And, if you look closely, you can see a little Mickey Mouse at the bottom. On the inside it says: "Leave no wish unwished." That was exactly what I needed on my birthday. So, if you're feeling old, just remember that. 

And, just in case you were wanted to see a picture of me on my 25th birthday here is the only one I got with my pretty card and my ipod nano that I bought with my birthday money. Because I haven't had an ipod for like five years I figured that since I am 25 now I should probably join the 21st century, at least a little bit.  I named him Finnegan, but Finn for short, because Finn is my favorite boy's name, but I can never use it because Finn Kim sounds pretty darn stupid. I also bought a present for my present: The new Ben Gibbard album, Former Lives. I'm in love. That helped too, because sometimes all of this hoopla causes me to lose sight of myself and Ben Gibbard always helps me remember that I'm a girl who loves Ben Gibbard a whole lot, which makes me feel like myself again. Oh, Ben.

And, I kept singing this to myself on my birthday (because it has the age 25 in it, so it had to be done):


This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25...

So, that made feel feel young too. 

Look out world! I'm 25 now, I'm a great dreamer/wisher, and my brain is fully developed. Just try to stop me, I dare you. 

(I actually said that to myself on my birthday, after putting on my pinkish-peachy pants. You know the ones.)